Mindset | Blog

Next time you feel overwhelmed by shame, take a minute to think of a loved one who has experienced a failure, feels inadequate, or may be struggling with a challenge similar to yours. What would you say to acknowledge their feelings? (“I know you don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot.”) When you experience a difficult moment, what would a loved one say to you? Take a moment and think of your suffering. Imagine your loved one telling you these words. Then, change the statement and say it to yourself. (“I don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot!”) Experiencing scrupulosity OCD is an intense hardship. You need and deserve to treat yourself with kindness when shame shows up! Stories Across Faith: Navigating

We all have stories that may have initially triggered shame, guilt or other unpleasant feelings in our lives. When we were kids, we all fibbed to our parents. Do you remember what happened when you got caught and the grown-ups reprimanded you and expressed their disappointment? You might remember it as a funny or unpleasant story. Have you noticed how your amazing mind reminds you of it at times? The Amazing Human Mind The adults in our lives most likely had good intentions in correcting us. If in that very moment we experienced unpleasant feelings such as shame and guilt, our brain automatically recorded the link between the situation and the feelings and thoughts we were experiencing then. AND there is a slight little challe

Treating anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder became personal for me years before I became a psychotherapist. Unbeknownst to my husband and me, our youngest son’s early childhood stubborn streaks were an indication of his anxiety challenges. By the time he was in elementary school, his “just so” behaviors were evident, but we hoped he would grow out of them. By middle school, we realized he needed professional help. Long story short, we literally “took the tour” around the different cities in our state in search of a therapist who knew how to treat anxiety disorders and OCD, to no avail. It wasn’t until our son was in his early twenties that he himself found a specialist from California. Our experience motivated me

Do you ever feel like you’re traveling through life unable to choose your own path? Have you picked up some annoying and scary passengers along the way? Sometimes it may feel like you’ve been blindfolded, unable to choose where you are going. You are the captain of your life boat, not your anxious mind! 

Looking back at historical monuments is interesting. Speculating how things came about can be fun. But is trying to make sense of a past event working out for you? Have you noticed where obsessing and ruminating takes you? An event from the past is history and a memory. It’s no longer a fact no matter how often you go back in time. You can learn to live in the present!

How often do you avoid or opt out of situations because they cause anxiety, uncertainty, or other unpleasant emotions? Consider what may be on the other side of your fear. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some

None of us like uncertainty and if you struggle with righteous perfectionism (scrupulosity OCD), this is very difficult. Are you ready and willing to change your relationship with uncertainty?  What would your life be like if you were willing to experience uncertainty, even though you don’t like it?

When unpleasant thoughts and feelings show up, it may seem like you don’t have a choice in how to respond, but you do! You can choose the most traveled road (the easy path and compulsive behaviors) or the one less traveled (psychological flexibility) path. The least traveled path will require more work, patience, and effort, AND it will make all the difference!

Life is an adventure that includes ups and downs. While we all experience pain of one kind or another, how we respond to that pain makes a big difference in our suffering.

Giving in to compulsions and/or avoidant behaviors to find relief from the fear OCD brings into your life inadvertently strengthens the wrong neural pathways. These behaviors also affect your ability to be flexible with external or internal experiences (e.g., thoughts, judgments, memories, feelings, sensations, and urges), which can also influence your ability to let go of fear so you can find peace. “Imperfectly Good” will teach you how to develop psychological flexibility. As you develop psychological flexibility, you can become actively engaged in what is worth your focus, time, and energy; then choose to do what matters most in your life.