Mindset | Blog

Fears about the Present Moment Like many, you may be scared to pay attention to the present moment. It may feel impossible. This is normal as this is a new experience. Few are those who can naturally notice their attention drifting and softly bring it back to what is going on in the present. Lucky them! Most people’s minds are constantly drifting, and that’s okay. In Imperfectly Good I share several exercises to help you connect to the present moment. Try them one at a time at your own pace, slowly working through all of them. Find the ones that you like and that make sense to you. These exercises will enhance your mental flexibility. You can use your senses to help you anchor/focus on the here and now. Notice what you see, sm

It has been said that fish don’t know they are swimming in water; they just swim in it naturally unaware of that fact. It has also been said that our thoughts are our water. Most of us are swimming in our thoughts and we are hardly even aware of it. It is our natural state. Would you agree that this is the case for you? The good news is that we can learn to notice our thoughts and recognize when we are actually ruminating and getting deeper in the rabbit hole or the OCD cycle (if you struggle with OCD). Keep in mind that recognizing and acknowledging one’s thoughts for what they are –thoughts– is not the same as ignoring, suppressing, or resisting them. Have you ever had the experience of being at the movie theatre or a special e

There is no doubt anxiety is an emotion no one likes to experience. Some of us may experience it every once in a while, others may experience it too often to count. The fact is anxiety is an internal event within us, and the more we try to control it, the less we can do so. When we try to suppress this unpleasant experience in our bodies, it may feel like trying to push a beach ball underwater. As much as we push it down, it comes right back with more force—and it might even hit us in the face! Though suppressing and ignoring anxiety appears to make sense, it actually doesn’t work. We were built with a protective mind. Its number one function is to protect us from harm and discomfort. Thus, our minds will be on the lookout to provid

https://mindsetadminportal.wpcomstaging.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/przemyslaw-zientala-54brsfzksgg-unsplash.jpg The year 2020 will go down in history as one of our most challenging and disliked years. No question we all have been struggling in one way or another. However, some of us may already have been experiencing hard times in a variety of ways, whether it be mental, emotional, physical, social, or financial. When we are in the middle of hardships, we lament our circumstances with what should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve been, if it weren’t for that particular difficulty. We get stuck with emotions, thoughts, judgments, sensations, and urges to want to control what we cannot, especially our internal pain. We may not notice th

View original article published in Psych Central– Under Title: Thought Watching Exercises to Increase Awareness & Reduce Anxiety We often go about our lives without noticing what our mind is telling us because we are too busy attending to our hectic lives. Blithely unaware, we comply with the advice our mind dictates to us all day long. Some of you may say, “What’s wrong with that?” Well, there is nothing wrong if the advice is helpful, and it moves us closer to our values and goals by following it. But when we are unaware of what our mind is saying, we can end up making unwise choices. For example, if you experience social anxiety, your mind may provide advice that to stay home from a social event is the best option. You believe your

“It is what makes us human, what distinguishes us from other animals. We can be aware of being aware.” –Jon Kabat-Zinn Are you stuck in the past or in the future? Quite often we are focused on what should have happened yesterday, what we should’ve done, what we didn’t do, or what others should’ve done. When we are not focused on the past, maybe our focal point is what may happen, or what we wish could happen in the future. Perhaps we have ‘what if” worry habits that lead us to heightened stress and anxiety. We may feel angry about the past, or maybe feel hopeless about the future. When our tendency is to dwell on things of the past or the future we get stuck, and life becomes more difficult. Dogs, among other mammals have the capability o

View original article published in Psych Central– Alice had experienced many successes in her youth. She was gifted with athletic skills, intelligence, and an outgoing personality. She qualified for a scholarship in college and graduated with honors from a prestigious program. Alice enjoyed the praise of others, and felt she should be happy but was not. She had developed the habit of comparing herself with others. When she could not keep up with what she believed were others’ expectations, she felt anxious and depressed. She would say, “If I make a mistake, others will judge me, and I will be nothing!” Perfectionism is a topic of interest to many because of the impact it can have in individuals’ lives. There is nothing wrong with having a d

“Limits, like fears are often just an illusion.” –Michael Jordan We have an amazing, active mind that helps us survive in our daily living. We could not do what we do if it weren’t for our wonderful and powerful mind. It is truly a marvelous gift! However, sometimes it gets carried away with producing thoughts that may limit us. The word illusion in the electronic Cambridge Dictionary is defined as “an idea or belief that is not true, or something that is not what it seems to be.” Sometimes we get caught up in our negative thoughts, memories, and judgments. We may become fearful, anxious or intimidated by our own thoughts. Even though we may have hopes and dreams, our mind can produce thoughts such as: “No, that’ll never happen. I’m not goo

View original article published in Psych Central – Ships in the harbor need to be anchored as they are brought back from a day at sea. If ships and boats were not secured, they would drift away if a storm were to occur at night. This is an ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) metaphor to help explain Mindfulness. Quite often mindfulness is misunderstood. Let’s clarify some essential points: Definition of Mindfulness: Jon Kabat-Zinn defines it as: “Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” This means that we can learn to purposely notice what is happening in the here-and-now. As we do, we become observers without making evaluations or judgments about events, ourselves, and/or others. T

View original article published in Psych Central– Our human instinct is to react and push back when we feel pain and discomfort. When we struggle with anxiety, those feelings are magnified. Our inherent response is to try and get rid of unpleasant feelings and sensations immediately, but does it really work? This is an important question, and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) teaches that fighting the discomfort can actually make the situation worse. Mental health providers practicing ACT often use the quicksand metaphor, and the reaction we naturally would have if we were ever caught in it. Even though we know it makes matters worse when we panic and try to get out quickly, our survival mechanisms tell us differently. Trying to