Mindset | Blog

More than a decade ago, college administrators placed a huge emphasis on entrance test scores. However, this is no longer the case as colleges have realized that academic scores do not tell the whole story about a person’s true potential. Just like students are more than a test score upon entering college, you are more than your anxiety. Many individuals grappling with anxiety tend to define their days and weeks solely based on their anxiety levels. “It’s only a good day if I’m not feeling anxious.” Do you resonate with this sentiment? In reality, you are more than the symptoms and challenges linked to anxiety. Your Life Pizza Imagine ordering your favorite pizza and discovering a slice with an ingredie

While Sally had developed psychological flexibility to respond to unpleasant thoughts and emotions, as discussed in June’s blog post, a few years later, she faced a resurgence of doubts about her religious beliefs. Some of her friends had experienced similar doubts and decided to leave their shared faith. Despite her lifelong attachment to her faith, she found herself questioning: “Are my friends’ concerns valid? Am I being too gullible as they suggest? Do I truly believe or am I simply staying because it’s familiar?” These questions seemed endless. Despite her efforts to find answers found online, she only became more confused. Uncertainty Nobody enjoys uncertainty, and life would be much simpler witho

From a young age, Sally cultivated her faith and valued her connection with the Divine. Nonetheless, in her early twenties, after reading an article that sparked doubts about her faith, she felt troubled. Unaware of OCD or scrupulosity, she blamed herself for the doubts. As she attempted to brush off the doubts and push down her distress, they only seemed to intensify. Faith “The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning. You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you.”1 How would you take this advice? Are you willing to step into the darkness, unsure if the light will eventually appear? If you are like Sall

Holding Anxiety Gently Expectations What’s the first thought that comes to mind when you wake up in the morning? Is it an anxious thought—maybe about all the things you should do today? Or maybe you’re setting expectations for yourself about what your day should look like? As soon as you notice your anxiety, what do you do? Do you start dreading the day and wonder whether your anxiety will ever subside? Have you noticed how the word expectation implies rigidity? When we place high or unrealistic expectations on ourselves, whether emotionally, physically, or even just about what we think we should accomplish today, our emotional well-being suffers. Now, that’s not to say you don’t need to have goals and dreams about your career

Challenges are certainly part of life, and expecting to be free of it all is not realistic, unless you are a kid. For example, one afternoon, my grandkids were doing art projects at my house. One of them decided to create something that was a little too ambitious for his age. When I realized he was no longer working on it, I asked: “What happened to your project?” He answered, “I quit. It was too hard.” I said, “Oh, that’s too bad.” His older sister quickly chimed in: “When things get tough; what do you do? Here are two steps:  You quit and then forget about it!” She likes to tease and be mischievous sometimes. Her parents often talk about doing hard things and to keep trying instead of quitting. So I said, “Sweetie, you can

You can apply these steps when you feel shame or other emotions! You can recognize that being imperfectly good is enough. You can change your relationship with the unpleasant internal experiences (e.g., anxiety, shame, guilt, and uncertainty) and find joy in what matters most to you—your values. Be patient and remember that though you may be imperfectly good, it is possible to navigate religious and moral anxiety (scrupulosity OCD) so you can release fear and find peace!

Next time you feel overwhelmed by shame, take a minute to think of a loved one who has experienced a failure, feels inadequate, or may be struggling with a challenge similar to yours. What would you say to acknowledge their feelings? (“I know you don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot.”) When you experience a difficult moment, what would a loved one say to you? Take a moment and think of your suffering. Imagine your loved one telling you these words. Then, change the statement and say it to yourself. (“I don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot!”) Experiencing scrupulosity OCD is an intense hardship. You need and deserve to treat yourself with kindness when shame shows up! Stories Across Faith: Navigating

We all have stories that may have initially triggered shame, guilt or other unpleasant feelings in our lives. When we were kids, we all fibbed to our parents. Do you remember what happened when you got caught and the grown-ups reprimanded you and expressed their disappointment? You might remember it as a funny or unpleasant story. Have you noticed how your amazing mind reminds you of it at times? The Amazing Human Mind The adults in our lives most likely had good intentions in correcting us. If in that very moment we experienced unpleasant feelings such as shame and guilt, our brain automatically recorded the link between the situation and the feelings and thoughts we were experiencing then. AND there is a slight little challe

Do you ever feel like you’re traveling through life unable to choose your own path? Have you picked up some annoying and scary passengers along the way? Sometimes it may feel like you’ve been blindfolded, unable to choose where you are going. You are the captain of your life boat, not your anxious mind! 

Todd grew up in a religious environment and believed that if he obeyed God’s commandments and follow the tenets of his religion, he would be blessed in many ways including having the spirit of God with him at all times. When he was younger he had spiritual experiences and as he got older he yearned to be closer to God. He thought that if he lived his religion perfectly, he would be greatly blessed. He became hyper focused on this goal. “I need to pray longer. I need to read more chapters from my scriptures. Am I being perfectly obedient? Do I have the right intentions? I need to engage in more service and teach my faith to everyone I meet. Did I sin? I’d better confess!” Todd didn’t know that the rigidity he was experiencing was