Mindset | Blog

Dreams are the starting point for any achievement. Carli Lloyd, former captain of the U.S. Women’s Soccer team, said this: “You must be able to see it happening in your mind before it can happen on the field. The mind is like a brush-cutter in the woods, a bulldozer for your dreams. It clears away the bramble and thicket so you have a path to follow. The mind sets out the path, and then the training enables you to follow it.”1 Your children can develop the mentality of “Why not me?” One father consistently told his son as he was growing up, “Why not you?”  That constant question and reminder inspired his son to dream bigger and work harder, and eventually led to incredible achievements in his chosen field. When kids a

By Dave and Annabella Hagen “The poorest man is not he without a cent, it is he without a vision.” –Old Chinese Proverb When Michelangelo created his masterpiece sculptures, he had a vision of what they could potentially look like. Your children’s successful life journey also begins with vision–how they see themselves, and how they see their futures. Your children can be taught in your intentional family culture to fiercely believe that they really can accomplish whatever they can see themselves doing.  If your child has a dream and does not believe that they can accomplish it, they are probably right—they won’t. No one else has the right to tell your children what they are capable of. Let them find out on their

Allie seemed to enjoy her friends and extracurricular activities. She was a busy teenager but preferred to spend more time engaging in religious behaviors (e.g., praying, singing religious songs, and reading scriptures) than her friends. Allie’s parents had noticed her altruist behavior and dedication and often praised her for it. Allie’s behaviors were driven by her guilt, shame, and uncertainty. The urge to serve others did not seem to satisfy her doubts. Allie and her parents had not realized that her excessive devotion to follow her moral and religious beliefs were actually an indication she was struggling with scrupulosity OCD. “Do I deserve God’s blessings? Am I good enough? Didn’t Jesus say to be as perfect as he is? These

View original article published in Psych Central Joe loved playing soccer and if he had a choice, he would spend all his waking hours playing the sport. He was also a high achiever in other areas of his life. He was proud of the A’s he received in all his classes. He was multi-talented and his parents were pleased with his efforts. However, by the time he entered 10th grade, his parents noticed he had started to become highly critical of himself whenever his team lost. It was difficult for him to get over his own mistakes. He’d punish himself by increasing his practice time and avoid hanging out with his friends. One day, he told his dad that he would like to play soccer at a prestigious university in the future. His dad responded that that

View original article published in Psych Central– Besides being loving and patient, parents need to be brave when their children are anxious. This may be one of the most difficult things you do when you see your kids struggle. In the long run, your courage will be one of the crucial elements in helping your children overcome their anxiety. Listed below are the When, Why, and How of becoming a valiant parent everyday. WHEN do you need to be brave?      WHEN: It seems that for the thousandth time you’ve asked your child to do a simple task and he refuses because he feels overwhelmed. A slight change in her routine sets her off, and you choose not to yell or punish her. He gets injured and his anxiety magnifies his aches and shouts. A meltdow

Quite often, parents misunderstand their adolescents’ symptoms of depression with “just being in a bad mood,” or “personality issues,” or “the time of the month issues,” etc. Yes, we all have those kinds of days. However, when an adolescent is depressed, those symptoms don’t dwindle with time. This is actually a mistake many parents make. Sometimes, they may think it is “just a stage” and wait it out. However, it can only get worse. As you consider the following symptoms, keep in mind that they vary in severity. Depressive symptoms in adolescents: Loss of interest and enjoyment in their favorite activities or other activities. Prefer to be alone rather than with family or kids their age. Have difficulty concentrating at school or other se

The high numbers regarding anxiety and depression in teens are alarming. Experts keep trying to figure out why the numbers continue to rise. Research confirms what many mental health providers have known for years about this amazing, yet troubled population. When you think about your adolescent, consider the following questions: Are your teens learning healthy coping skills to deal with stressors, anxiety, and depression? Who are their role models and are they learning healthy coping skills from them? When they experience emotional pain, have your kids learned how to deal with it? Do they have the appropriate support from you and professionals if needed? Do you know if your adolescent is involved in self-harming behaviors? If so, is h

A friend forwarded me the link to Rebecca  Brown’s videos and journal (Trich Journal).  She is a charming young woman who is very artistic and funny and also suffers from hair pulling and skin picking disorders.  I’ve watched some of her videos since I received her information.  Rebecca is doing an awesome job in helping others understand that they don’t have to feel ashamed of their disorders.  She is helping educate people, but most importantly, with her example, she is helping those that suffer. If you have questions about Trichotillomania and Skin Picking Disorders, please go to the Trichotillomania Learning Center website.  I attended their last conference in April and it was very informative.  Some of the material presented reg

[View original article published in the Daily Herald here] “There are two lasting bequests that we can give our children. One is roots, the other is wings.” Hodding Carter, Jr. All parents remember the emotions experienced when their first child was born. Besides boundless joy we also experienced an overwhelming sense of responsibility.  We realized we needed to make adjustments. For instance, when a young friend became a father for the first time, he and his wife were worried about leaving the hospital with their little girl. The hospital was about 15 minutes away from their house if they traveled on the highway. They chose to go the slower — but safer — route through the city streets out of concern for their little