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WILLINGNESS

Holding Anxiety Gently

2.26.24

Holding Anxiety Gently Expectations What’s the first thought that comes to mind when you wake up in the morning? Is it an anxious thought—maybe about all the things you should do today? Or maybe you’re setting expectations for yourself about what your day should look like? As soon as you notice your anxiety, what do you do? Do you start dreading the day and wonder whether your anxiety will ever subside? Have you noticed how the word expectation implies rigidity? When we place high or unrealistic expectations on ourselves, whether emotionally, physically, or even just about what we think we should accomplish today, our emotional well-being suffers. Now, that’s not to say you don’t need to have goals and dreams about your career

OCD and the Willingness to Do What It Takes to Live Your Values

1.17.24

Going Upstream— Is It Worth It? The o’opu, a freshwater fish native to Hawaii, hatches in fresh water and literally goes with the flow, swimming downstream to reproduce. Its eggs are swept into the ocean, where they develop into young fish. Like salmon, these young fish instinctively return home. They measure less than three inches in size, but their determination to reach their birthplace and start another generation is huge. These fish don’t just swim upstream to get back home. They literally climb waterfalls by using suction disks.1 “How is this possible?” you might ask. Well, before they reenter fresh water to begin their journey home, their bodies are transformed. They develop mouth and pelvic suckers that help them climb.

Five Ways to Succeed in Your Treatment for OCD

10.23.23

Sometimes treatment for OCD can feel like you are taking a life detour where fear of the unknown may feel overwhelming. Indeed, moving from avoidant and compulsive behaviors (private and public) to living a values-centered life can feel unfamiliar. You may be cautious and sometimes doubtful about your progress. The Following steps will help you navigate the unsure terrain as you trust the process: Maintain a curious mindset. During treatment for OCD (any theme), you’ll learn skills that will allow you to create new neural pathways. It takes time to change behavioral and mental habits.Your mind will want you to focus on the outcome each and every day. Notice and acknowledge that and then choose to maintain a curious mindset. Try

What NOT to Do with Your Doubts During Treatment for OCD

9.20.23

Whether you are considering or have begun treatment for OCD, you might doubt that your unwanted thoughts are related to this mental health challenge. You may believe the unwanted thoughts and doubts are your fault. They are not. It has been said that OCD is the “doubting disease.” So, naturally, you will also doubt whether you have OCD. You may also question the treatment and whether you need to practice psychological flexibility skills to clear your mind. You might not be willing to engage in values-based exposures. You are not alone. Most OCD sufferers experience these doubts and feelings. We can compare treatment for OCD with roadway detours. For example, if you were on your way to work and you encountered a detour, how would

When Treatment for OCD Gets Tough, Follow These Five Steps!

8.30.23

Challenges are certainly part of life, and expecting to be free of it all is not realistic, unless you are a kid. For example, one afternoon, my grandkids were doing art projects at my house. One of them decided to create something that was a little too ambitious for his age. When I realized he was no longer working on it, I asked: “What happened to your project?” He answered, “I quit. It was too hard.” I said, “Oh, that’s too bad.” His older sister quickly chimed in: “When things get tough; what do you do? Here are two steps:  You quit and then forget about it!” She likes to tease and be mischievous sometimes. Her parents often talk about doing hard things and to keep trying instead of quitting. So I said, “Sweetie, you can

Five Ways to Let Go of Religious Scrupulosity

8.15.23

Drew had been raised in a religious environment. He had been taught to love God, but when he was a teenager, he began to have doubts about his faith. When he did, he felt guilty. He truly loved God and wanted to have a close relationship with Him. However, the more he wished to be good and serve others perfectly, the more doubts he seemed to have about God’s existence. He was terrified to experience intrusive thoughts and doubts while participating in religious activities. He believed the thoughts were his fault for not completing his “spiritual to-do list.” There just didn’t seem to be enough time to do what he believed had to be done so “God would be happy with him.”  The more he tried, the mo

In Your Darkest Times…

8.4.23

In your darkest times… Stay hopeful. Stay faithful. Even when you think God is not there. God is there and your scrupulous mind might just be getting in the way. Remember that your scrupulous mind is not in charge of your life or what you choose to do and believe. You are imperfectly good and God loves you unconditionally. You are enough. Keep the hope!

Reassurance Seeking?

4.28.23

Are your fears compelling you to constantly look for reassurance? Your yearning for coherence with your thoughts can lead you to cease doing those activities that bring you joy. (“I wish I could be with my friends, but my ugly thoughts may show up, so I’d better stay home.”) Uncertainty is unpleasant and naturally creates other uncomfortable internal experiences. Reassurance-seeking is the easiest path. Even though you may not realize it, private compulsions may be your current go-to rituals to find relief. What are you willing to do to decrease this pervasive compulsion? Notice how often you look for reassurance either mentally or behaviorally?

Life’s Journey

3.27.23

What shows up in your mind and body when you see these images? Have you ever gone on a white-water rafting excursion in your life? If you are a white-water rafting fan, you probably yearn to go back to turbulent waters and experience the adrenaline rush. If you ask me, this was a once-in a life time experience for my family. None of us wish to ever repeat that event in our lives! As I began to write “Imperfectly Good,” I thought of my rafting experience and my clients who struggle with fears related to their religious and moral anxiety (Scrupulosity OCD). Many of them report, “It is as if I’m drowning on dry land.” So they fight for their lives and do whatever they can to escape the turbulent waters within them. Their frightful e

Are you flexible with what your mind says?

3.24.23

When your mind gets too loud, are you willing to be flexible with what it says? You don’t have to be bound by the rules your anxious mind is imposing upon you. You can develop mental and emotional flexibility!

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A guide to help you find relief and happiness in spite of religious or moral OCD (scrupulosity OCD). Learn more about Annabella Hagen's book.
Imperfectly Good - Book by Annabella Hagen

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