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Holding Anxiety Gently Expectations What’s the first thought that comes to mind when you wake up in the morning? Is it an anxious thought—maybe about all the things you should do today? Or maybe you’re setting expectations for yourself about what your day should look like? As soon as you notice your anxiety, what do you do? Do you start dreading the day and wonder whether your anxiety will ever subside? Have you noticed how the word expectation implies rigidity? When we place high or unrealistic expectations on ourselves, whether emotionally, physically, or even just about what we think we should accomplish today, our emotional well-being suffers. Now, that’s not to say you don’t need to have goals and dreams about your career

There is a helpful way to respond to your internal events (e.g., thoughts, feelings, and sensations), and it’s not the way the scrupulous mind thinks you should. Let’s take time to review and learn more about our thoughts. The words you hear are speech, the words you read are text, and the words that come from your mind are thoughts. Thoughts often consist of opinions, evaluations, or assumptions related to how you feel at any given moment. The question is, do you believe every word you hear and read? Most likely not. So do you need to believe every word (i.e., thought) your mind provides? Thoughts are part of your inside world. They are natural, internal, private events. Do you need to believe every word your mind says? Perha

Rumination is what cows do when they rechew their food (cud) to digest it. They spend about eight hours every day doing it. We humans also ruminate. We can spend minutes, hours and even days rechewing our thoughts, especially during times of distress. If you struggle with OCD, your external and internal experiences (e.g., thoughts, memories, feelings, and sensations) are magnified and more persevering during difficult moments, and rumination can lead you to become stuck in the OCD cycle. The OCD Cycle When you get triggered by anything (internally or externally), you will have an initial thought that evokes the obsessions. You may then feel overwhelmed with difficult internal experiences (e.g., thoughts, feelings, sensatio

Not long ago, I decided to adopt a puppy and excitedly told my sister about it. She said, “Annabella, you are not a dog person. You are too busy. You really shouldn’t.” I responded, “Says who? Your mind? I can choose to be a dog person if I want to.” Her obvious disapproval most likely was related to her concerns about my future pup. I shared with my sister, my reason –the higher value that motivated me to become a dog mom. She understood, but continued to discourage me to do so. I said, “I am not going to let that label get in the way of how I choose to live my life.” She then agreed to coach me through the training months as I began to fall in love with my puppy. Are you stuck with a label? As you grew up and experienced mul

Pebbles found on the seashore can be fascinating. Some are smooth due to being rolled against the sand by strong ocean currents. Others are rough. Some are broken and have become fused or stuck with other rocks, sea shells, or other elements in the ocean. Still, some of them look like a whole unit, but when you examine them closely, you realize the force of the ocean has fused them together so much it’s impossible to separate them. Unlike these ocean rocks, we can defuse from our thoughts and other internal events. Practice – Part One The Pebble The goal for this practice is to become an observer of your surroundings. Go on a fifteen-minute walk and use your senses to notice what you see, hear and feel along the way. Loo

https://mindsetadminportal.wpcomstaging.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/przemyslaw-zientala-54brsfzksgg-unsplash.jpg The year 2020 will go down in history as one of our most challenging and disliked years. No question we all have been struggling in one way or another. However, some of us may already have been experiencing hard times in a variety of ways, whether it be mental, emotional, physical, social, or financial. When we are in the middle of hardships, we lament our circumstances with what should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve been, if it weren’t for that particular difficulty. We get stuck with emotions, thoughts, judgments, sensations, and urges to want to control what we cannot, especially our internal pain. We may not notice th

Halloween, All Hallows’ Day and Día de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) are part of family traditions for many. Halloween may be most familiar to you if you were born in the United States. Growing up in Guatemala my family used to celebrate el Día de Los Muertos. At that time families visit cemeteries, eat delicious food and remember their departed loved ones’ lives. Today, I’d like to invite you to think about the Day of the Dead and imagine what your grave will look like after you’re gone. Most importantly, what would the engraving on your tombstone say? Picture your loved ones talking about you and trying to decide what to inscribe. What would they think of you based on the way you’ve spent your time and energy every day of your life?

View original article published in Psych Central– The uncertainty in the world may be getting on your nerves, and the problem is that you are not the only one you need to worry about. Your children can also feel your stress and that can create stressed kids. If you and your children were struggling with anxiety before the pandemic, it has now probably heightened. Summer may have provided some respite, but new worries may be cropping up. What’s a parent to do when there are so many issues to worry about and no chance of knowing with certainty that your feared outcomes won’t come true? Here are a few questions to help you gauge your current stress level: Have you found yourself getting upset by trivial situations? Have you found it difficult

Stress is not new. It has been around since life began. It’s part of our survival mechanism to help us stay alive when we are in danger. However, we live in a time of high pressure and demands, and most recently our stress may have heightened due to COVID-19 and uncertainties in the world. Stress can be different for everyone. There are individuals who may experience chronic stress and anxiety. As soon as they wake up, they start feeling the unpleasant sensations of stress and anxiety in their bodies. When we are stressed, our bodies start feeling tension. We may have difficulty falling asleep, or staying asleep. Some people may experience headaches, digestion problems, high blood pressure and generalized unhappiness. The question is, are

View original article published in Psych Central– Weddings, graduations, business meetings, travel, friends and family gatherings have been interrupted. Some activities we may have been looking forward to have been wiped out or postponed. Some people’s reaction can be anger, anxiety or stress. Others are mourning what could’ve been in sadness and frustration. A friend whose yearly tradition has been to enjoy the national college basketball tournament during March (March Madness) with his sons and their families is lamenting his loss. For his family, March is usually a time to watch their favorite basketball players and teams compete, and most importantly, an opportunity to bond with one another as a family. Many college students have mixed