Mindset | Blog

Going Upstream— Is It Worth It? The o’opu, a freshwater fish native to Hawaii, hatches in fresh water and literally goes with the flow, swimming downstream to reproduce. Its eggs are swept into the ocean, where they develop into young fish. Like salmon, these young fish instinctively return home. They measure less than three inches in size, but their determination to reach their birthplace and start another generation is huge. These fish don’t just swim upstream to get back home. They literally climb waterfalls by using suction disks.1 “How is this possible?” you might ask. Well, before they reenter fresh water to begin their journey home, their bodies are transformed. They develop mouth and pelvic suckers that help them climb.

By Kathleen Ririe “What if I should discover that…I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness– that I am the enemy who must be loved?” –C. G. Jung As Christmas approaches, in Christian religious traditions we look forward to celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, who is celebrated as the Savior of the World. According to the Bible, He was perfect and gave His life for humankind, that if they would come into relationship with Him and abide by His doctrine, they too would receive everlasting life through His gracious Atoning sacrifice. This is good news right?  Well, for those with Scrupulosity (a subtype of OCD involving religious or moral obsessions)  this message can at times feel like a two-edged sword. On

Challenges are certainly part of life, and expecting to be free of it all is not realistic, unless you are a kid. For example, one afternoon, my grandkids were doing art projects at my house. One of them decided to create something that was a little too ambitious for his age. When I realized he was no longer working on it, I asked: “What happened to your project?” He answered, “I quit. It was too hard.” I said, “Oh, that’s too bad.” His older sister quickly chimed in: “When things get tough; what do you do? Here are two steps:  You quit and then forget about it!” She likes to tease and be mischievous sometimes. Her parents often talk about doing hard things and to keep trying instead of quitting. So I said, “Sweetie, you can

Drew had been raised in a religious environment. He had been taught to love God, but when he was a teenager, he began to have doubts about his faith. When he did, he felt guilty. He truly loved God and wanted to have a close relationship with Him. However, the more he wished to be good and serve others perfectly, the more doubts he seemed to have about God’s existence. He was terrified to experience intrusive thoughts and doubts while participating in religious activities. He believed the thoughts were his fault for not completing his “spiritual to-do list.” There just didn’t seem to be enough time to do what he believed had to be done so “God would be happy with him.”  The more he tried, the mo

In your darkest times… Stay hopeful. Stay faithful. Even when you think God is not there. God is there and your scrupulous mind might just be getting in the way. Remember that your scrupulous mind is not in charge of your life or what you choose to do and believe. You are imperfectly good and God loves you unconditionally. You are enough. Keep the hope!

When OCD takes over your life, you might feel like you have no choice. OCD can make you believe that avoidance is the only option. It may seem helpful but only temporarily. Though anxiety and uncertainty is part of life, the OCD mind may insist that you can eventually get rid of those feelings permanently. You may fall for its lies when it says, “If you don’t do your rituals, you will be anxious. Your worries may come true. You may end up acting on them. Fear will keep you safe!” Hearing those thoughts coming out from your mind can be scary. You may falsely believe that your compulsions (public and private) prevent you from acting on your fears. You may believe these rituals are actually helping you, but are they? You don’t ha

Can you develop kindness and compassion for your present self as you would for a young child? Will you be willing to be imperfectly good and live your values–do what matters most in your life? Some people worry that in loving themselves they’re being selfish and, worse, narcissistic. The reality is that the scrupulous mind is leading you to become the extreme opposite of a narcissist. As you get fused with unhelpful thoughts and feelings, you begin to feel miserable and fail to give yourself even a crumb of love. It is not effective, is it? Would God want you to mistreat yourself? You can develop self-compassion skills when you a) connect to the present moment of pain, b) remember your common humanity with others, and

Treating anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder became personal for me years before I became a psychotherapist. Unbeknownst to my husband and me, our youngest son’s early childhood stubborn streaks were an indication of his anxiety challenges. By the time he was in elementary school, his “just so” behaviors were evident, but we hoped he would grow out of them. By middle school, we realized he needed professional help. Long story short, we literally “took the tour” around the different cities in our state in search of a therapist who knew how to treat anxiety disorders and OCD, to no avail. It wasn’t until our son was in his early twenties that he himself found a specialist from California. Our experience motivated me

What shows up in your mind and body when you see these images? Have you ever gone on a white-water rafting excursion in your life? If you are a white-water rafting fan, you probably yearn to go back to turbulent waters and experience the adrenaline rush. If you ask me, this was a once-in a life time experience for my family. None of us wish to ever repeat that event in our lives! As I began to write “Imperfectly Good,” I thought of my rafting experience and my clients who struggle with fears related to their religious and moral anxiety (Scrupulosity OCD). Many of them report, “It is as if I’m drowning on dry land.” So they fight for their lives and do whatever they can to escape the turbulent waters within them. Their frightful e

How often do you avoid or opt out of situations because they cause anxiety, uncertainty, or other unpleasant emotions? Consider what may be on the other side of your fear. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some