Mindset | Blog

When you struggle with OCD, doubts and uncertainty can lead you to give in to private and public reassurance-seeking compulsions. We will be sharing tips and skills to help you decrease and eliminate this pervasive compulsion and start trusting yourself! Our presentation will take place on October 22nd at 9 am MST: “I need reassurance. Or do I?: Letting go of the quest for certainty and learning to trust yourself.” The urge is strong. You feel the desperate need to know, to figure it out. And so you seek reassurance from family, friends, google or even yourself. Before you know it, and without even realizing it, you’re spending hours in your day on this search for reassurance; hoping to find the answer that will fi

Drew had been raised in a religious environment. He had been taught to love God, but when he was a teenager, he began to have doubts about his faith. When he did, he felt guilty. He truly loved God and wanted to have a close relationship with Him. However, the more he wished to be good and serve others perfectly, the more doubts he seemed to have about God’s existence. He was terrified to experience intrusive thoughts and doubts while participating in religious activities. He believed the thoughts were his fault for not completing his “spiritual to-do list.” There just didn’t seem to be enough time to do what he believed had to be done so “God would be happy with him.”  The more he tried, the mo

“Why can’t I get rid of these horrific thoughts? I’m supposed to have pure thoughts according to my faith. Will God ever forgive me?” Jon’s incessant thoughts were evoking extreme anxiety, doubt, and guilt in his daily life. He would excessively pray to ask for forgiveness. When the unwanted and unpleasant thoughts would show up, he would try to replace them by singing or repeating verses from his holy books. When he chose to confess his perceived sins, his religious leader told Jon that he had not sinned and to not worry about those thoughts. The faith leader reassured him by telling him that he was a good person. Despite his faith leader’s reassurance, Jon’s thoughts kept coming back. Jon blamed himself. He fe

Amber was an agnostic with high morals. Unfortunately, she often questioned her motivations regarding her behaviors and values. “Did I really mean to give that donation, or is it my savior complex? What if God really exists and I am sinning by not believing? Did I inadvertently offend my co-workers yesterday?” She seemed determined to be perfectly good, and was harsh on herself when she realized she failed at it every time. Does Amber’s story sound familiar? Do you often experience the urge to be perfectly good, though you know it’s impossible? Do you believe you need to do more and more each time? Is  life actually overwhelming you because you believe you are not a good enough family member, friend, neighbor, worker, cit

When you struggle with scrupulosity OCD, you probably experience thoughts that are not congruent with your beliefs, who you are, and who you want to become. The natural response to having unpleasant and unwanted thoughts is to want to get rid of them. When they show up, you may wonder, “What do these thoughts say about me? Do I want them? Is that why they won’t go away? If I don’t fight against them, they may become reality. If I let them be in my head, it means I am as bad as if I were acting on them.” These responses can be daunting AND the good news is that you can change the way you respond to your thoughts! First, let’s briefly clarify what thoughts are not, and what they are so you can start learning how to change your rela

Carson’s self-evaluative thoughts didn’t seem to cease in his life. He was consumed with thoughts such as, “I’m so dumb! Did I eat something that contained alcohol? I’ve sinned” “I’m so despicable for having those impure thoughts!” “I don’t deserve salvation.” “I’m unworthy of God’s love!” Unfortunately, there are many others who also experience these types of thoughts when they struggle with scrupulosity OCD. The human mind’s main function (OCD or not) is to protect us when it perceives we are in danger. However, when you’ve made a “mistake” (believing you’ve sinned, though you haven’t), and start stressing about it, your mind can quickly come to the rescue. It may provide evaluative thoughts so you can do “better next time.” The q

When OCD takes over your life, you might feel like you have no choice. OCD can make you believe that avoidance is the only option. It may seem helpful but only temporarily. Though anxiety and uncertainty is part of life, the OCD mind may insist that you can eventually get rid of those feelings permanently. You may fall for its lies when it says, “If you don’t do your rituals, you will be anxious. Your worries may come true. You may end up acting on them. Fear will keep you safe!” Hearing those thoughts coming out from your mind can be scary. You may falsely believe that your compulsions (public and private) prevent you from acting on your fears. You may believe these rituals are actually helping you, but are they? You don’t ha

Next time you feel overwhelmed by shame, take a minute to think of a loved one who has experienced a failure, feels inadequate, or may be struggling with a challenge similar to yours. What would you say to acknowledge their feelings? (“I know you don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot.”) When you experience a difficult moment, what would a loved one say to you? Take a moment and think of your suffering. Imagine your loved one telling you these words. Then, change the statement and say it to yourself. (“I don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot!”) Experiencing scrupulosity OCD is an intense hardship. You need and deserve to treat yourself with kindness when shame shows up! Stories Across Faith: Navigating

We all have stories that may have initially triggered shame, guilt or other unpleasant feelings in our lives. When we were kids, we all fibbed to our parents. Do you remember what happened when you got caught and the grown-ups reprimanded you and expressed their disappointment? You might remember it as a funny or unpleasant story. Have you noticed how your amazing mind reminds you of it at times? The Amazing Human Mind The adults in our lives most likely had good intentions in correcting us. If in that very moment we experienced unpleasant feelings such as shame and guilt, our brain automatically recorded the link between the situation and the feelings and thoughts we were experiencing then. AND there is a slight little challe

Treating anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder became personal for me years before I became a psychotherapist. Unbeknownst to my husband and me, our youngest son’s early childhood stubborn streaks were an indication of his anxiety challenges. By the time he was in elementary school, his “just so” behaviors were evident, but we hoped he would grow out of them. By middle school, we realized he needed professional help. Long story short, we literally “took the tour” around the different cities in our state in search of a therapist who knew how to treat anxiety disorders and OCD, to no avail. It wasn’t until our son was in his early twenties that he himself found a specialist from California. Our experience motivated me