Amber was an agnostic with high morals. Unfortunately, she often questioned her motivations regarding her behaviors and values. “Did I really mean to give that donation, or is it my savior complex? What if God really exists and I am sinning by not believing? Did I inadvertently offend my co-workers yesterday?” She seemed determined to be perfectly good, and was harsh on herself when she realized she failed at it every time.
Does Amber’s story sound familiar? Do you often experience the urge to be perfectly good, though you know it’s impossible? Do you believe you need to do more and more each time? Is life actually overwhelming you because you believe you are not a good enough family member, friend, neighbor, worker, citizen, etc.?
We all want to be good people. But when your worries and behaviors become excessive, you might be struggling with moral scrupulosity OCD. Below are just six signs you might be struggling with this condition.
Constant and excessive:
1. Doubts about personal worthiness. Indeed, having doubts about what matters most to you can be tormenting. The good new is that you can respond differently than you have in the past.
2. Quarrel with unwanted thoughts. It makes sense that your mind’s advice is to fight, suppress, or ignore those unpleasant thoughts. Your mind is providing you with solutions that only work well with external experiences–not with internal ones such as thoughts and feelings.
3. Self-criticism and apologizing. These are private and public compulsions that provide coherence, but only lead you to become more stuck in the OCD trap.
4. Sense of responsibility about others’ well being. Ponder this: how motivated and empowered do you feel when you act on that inflated sense of responsibility?
5. Worries about being an impostor and being found out. Feeling like an impostor is common to all humans. Keep an eye on your OCD mind when it tries to give you advice that may not be helpful.
6. Engagement in “altruistic” behaviors to appease one’s mind. Next time you engage in these types of behaviors, notice if you are doing it in the service of your values or in the service of the OCD mind so you can find relief from guilt.
If these worries sound familiar, don’t stress too much about it. There is help for you.
Be sure to consult your medical provider so they can refer you to a clinician that can conduct a thorough assessment for moral scrupulosity OCD. You might want to go here to find a mental health provider. If you reside in Utah, you can also go here to schedule an appointment with a clinician who understands your pain.
Be patient with yourself. You can be imperfectly good and develop psychological flexibility. Stay hopeful. You can do it!
