Mindset | Blog

What is your vision of the possibilities for your young children and adolescents? What are your hopes and dreams for them? What critical life skills do you think they will need to realize that vision? Is your vision for your children to find their own unique potential in life, and feel good about it? Of course! Every parent wishes their children to know who they really are, and who they can become. You can teach your young kids and adolescents how to develop mental and emotional flexibility in their lives so they become who they are capable of becoming, leading them to successful and meaningful lives. Consider these points as you ponder how you can help your children along the way so they can reach their potential: F

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought of itself.” What happens when you keep worrying about the future, focusing on mistakes of the past, or judging yourself every day? Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as “Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” As we do this, we become observers without making evaluations or judgments about our internal (e.g., thoughts, memories, evaluations, feelings, sensations, and urges) experiences. When you struggle with life’s challenges, your anxious mind provides advice so you can protect yourself from pain and discomfort. Are the coping strategies you are using now providing you with a vital and mean

Do we need a holiday about love to be reminded to love others? Probably not. How about a reminder to be kind and loving to ourselves? When things go wrong and we make mistakes, our natural reaction may be to beat ourselves up, but this response doesn’t provide the joy we all yearn for in our lives. Some people have a list of reasons for not loving themselves. The belief that “even a crumb of love” will lead them to become selfish and uncaring human beings might be included on that list. This assumption may be based on their mind’s unhelpful advice and negative experiences. Though this approach is ineffective, they become stuck with these views. According to research, in order to experience better mental, physical and emotional we

Last October, Madeline Johnson, a video producer for BBC Reel, reached out and asked if she could interview me about Scrupulosity OCD. There isn’t enough awareness about this type of OCD, so I was glad to be a small part of this excellent BBC Reel presentation: Scrupulosity: The obsessive fear of not being good enough. Many individuals throughout the world often ask themselves in confusion, “Why are my faith and moral values causing me so much pain and suffering?” Eventually, through friends, relatives, or internet searches, they find out that their anxiety related to their faith and moral values actually has a name: scrupulosity obsessive-compulsive disorder. They feel great relief that there is actually a name for their anx

There is clearly opposition in all things. The pain you experience with your current challenges wouldn’t be there if you didn’t care. What can you do when what you are doing is not working? You can learn how to respond to your unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. You can find the joy and peace you used to enjoy despite your emotional and mental pain. You know, it is possible!

Faith may be a value that matters most to you. Yet, you may feel that you are not living up to it. You may believe that you are not deserving of God’s love. You may also think that your religion is too rigid, and may want to abandon it to find respite from uncertainty, anxiety, guilt, shame and other unpleasant emotions. No matter how much you try to change how you feel and think, you may have noticed that you keep getting stuck with those emotions and thoughts. Is your faith causing you to suffer? On one side, you value faith; on the other side, it may be causing you emotional and mental pain. Don’t despair. It is how you view your struggles that can make all the difference!

When things don’t go as expected, we can learn to respond in a flexible way. There are some days though, when we simply get stuck with our thoughts and feelings and react rigidly. That is just how it goes, even when we “know better.” For example, a few weeks ago, I had scheduled an appointment to have a standard medical exam that didn’t take place because “it got cancelled.” When the receptionist told me it was cancelled, I said, “I didn’t cancel it. If I had, I wouldn’t be here!” She didn’t seem empathetic. I asked her to check who may have cancelled it, and to see if I could still have the test. She called the lab and they said I could come back in two hours. After looking in the computer, she discovered their “system” had auto

Not long ago, I decided to adopt a puppy and excitedly told my sister about it. She said, “Annabella, you are not a dog person. You are too busy. You really shouldn’t.” I responded, “Says who? Your mind? I can choose to be a dog person if I want to.” Her obvious disapproval most likely was related to her concerns about my future pup. I shared with my sister, my reason –the higher value that motivated me to become a dog mom. She understood, but continued to discourage me to do so. I said, “I am not going to let that label get in the way of how I choose to live my life.” She then agreed to coach me through the training months as I began to fall in love with my puppy. Are you stuck with a label? As you grew up and experienced mul

I recently attended the online Faith and Mental Health Conference organized by the International OCD Foundation. Valerie Andrews, one of the speakers, shared her story. She acknowledged that the mental illness stigma in our society is decreasing little by little, thankfully. That being said, we still have further to go in some areas of our society. For example, misconceptions still exist among many faithful individuals who mean well, but misconstrue their faith’s teachings. Leaders, relatives, and friends of individuals afflicted with a mental illness may believe the person just needs to abandon sin, pray harder, be better, etc. and their suffering will decrease or be gone. It’s great to be devoted to one’s faith and religion, it

There is no doubt anxiety is an emotion no one likes to experience. Some of us may experience it every once in a while, others may experience it too often to count. The fact is anxiety is an internal event within us, and the more we try to control it, the less we can do so. When we try to suppress this unpleasant experience in our bodies, it may feel like trying to push a beach ball underwater. As much as we push it down, it comes right back with more force—and it might even hit us in the face! Though suppressing and ignoring anxiety appears to make sense, it actually doesn’t work. We were built with a protective mind. Its number one function is to protect us from harm and discomfort. Thus, our minds will be on the lookout to provid