Mindset | Blog

Life is an adventure that includes ups and downs. While we all experience pain of one kind or another, how we respond to that pain makes a big difference in our suffering.

Giving in to compulsions and/or avoidant behaviors to find relief from the fear OCD brings into your life inadvertently strengthens the wrong neural pathways. These behaviors also affect your ability to be flexible with external or internal experiences (e.g., thoughts, judgments, memories, feelings, sensations, and urges), which can also influence your ability to let go of fear so you can find peace. “Imperfectly Good” will teach you how to develop psychological flexibility. As you develop psychological flexibility, you can become actively engaged in what is worth your focus, time, and energy; then choose to do what matters most in your life.

Break free from the doubt and depression caused by moral and religious anxiety. There’s help, and there’s hope. In Imperfectly Good, you’ll find a step-by-step guide to help you find relief and happiness despite religious or moral OCD. Through real-life accounts of those struggling with scrupulosity OCD and sound, research-based principles and practices, you’ll learn how to progress from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset so you can become who you want to become. The practices found in this book will help you: • Gain confidence in who you are • Navigate life with mental and emotional flexibility • Better connect with the present despite overwhelming anxiety • Focus on living your life with vitality and peace instead of worry and

Have you ever had an experience when you felt like God was literally giving you a hug? A feeling that was so intense you recognized that God is indeed aware of you? Perhaps that hug came from a loved one showing you how much they care about you no matter what you look or sound like, what you do, think or feel. Can you recall that experience? What shows up for you as you remember that moment of love? When love is absent, we yearn for it because we were created to love and be loved. When we struggle with mental, physical, emotional, social, or financial challenges, we may forget that there are people and a Supreme Being who greatly care about us. The other day at my church services, a young man was speaking about his goals and d

There is a helpful way to respond to your internal events (e.g., thoughts, feelings, and sensations), and it’s not the way the scrupulous mind thinks you should. Let’s take time to review and learn more about our thoughts. The words you hear are speech, the words you read are text, and the words that come from your mind are thoughts. Thoughts often consist of opinions, evaluations, or assumptions related to how you feel at any given moment. The question is, do you believe every word you hear and read? Most likely not. So do you need to believe every word (i.e., thought) your mind provides? Thoughts are part of your inside world. They are natural, internal, private events. Do you need to believe every word your mind says? Perha

Is religious and moral anxiety (scrupulosity OCD) sabotaging your life? What would your life be like if scrupulosity OCD wasn’t in it? Do you believe it is possible to live with purpose and vitality? Has scrupulosity OCD gotten in the way of your life? Are you ready to take your life back? When you face adversity, why is the pain worth having? Would you like to know how to better connect with the present despite your overwhelming anxiety? Are you ready to break free from the doubt and depression caused by moral and religious anxiety? You can focus on living your life with vitality and peace instead of worry and uncertainty! There’s help, and there’s hope.  In Imperfectly Good, you’ll fi

Imagine being on a boat in the open ocean and the weather begins to change. The waves become dangerously high and a storm develops. As this storm begins, you are alone; what would you do? When scrupulosity OCD storms rage in your life, how do you respond when your thoughts and emotions become overwhelming? Your OCD mind will immediately provide advice to keep you safe. Will you trust its advice, or your faith? When you are in the middle of an OCD storm, remember that the OCD mind is ‘talking’ on behalf of the obsessive-compulsive disorder. OCD: a condition when you experience recurring unwanted and unpleasant thoughts, memories, images, ideas, feelings, sensations, and so on. As you try to get rid of those internal experiences

Do you have a difficult time being kind to yourself? Loving yourself may not even feel like an option according to your anxious mind. It may say, “You don’t deserve love because….”  You probably can fill in the blank with many unhelpful statements your rule-making mind typically whispers each time you hear someone talk about self-compassion. As we grew up, we were influenced by many people. Words and teachings from our well-meaning parents, teachers, coaches, faith leaders, and society in general have influenced how we think about ourselves. Maybe you grew up hearing, “Good boys don’t cry. Good girls should be nice all the time. You’re not trying hard enough. You should know better!” The list goes on and on. Do you remember ho

It has been said that fish don’t know they are swimming in water; they just swim in it naturally unaware of that fact. It has also been said that our thoughts are our water. Most of us are swimming in our thoughts and we are hardly even aware of it. It is our natural state. Would you agree that this is the case for you? The good news is that we can learn to notice our thoughts and recognize when we are actually ruminating and getting deeper in the rabbit hole or the OCD cycle (if you struggle with OCD). Keep in mind that recognizing and acknowledging one’s thoughts for what they are –thoughts– is not the same as ignoring, suppressing, or resisting them. Have you ever had the experience of being at the movie theatre or a special e

Rumination is what cows do when they rechew their food (cud) to digest it. They spend about eight hours every day doing it. We humans also ruminate. We can spend minutes, hours and even days rechewing our thoughts, especially during times of distress. If you struggle with OCD, your external and internal experiences (e.g., thoughts, memories, feelings, and sensations) are magnified and more persevering during difficult moments, and rumination can lead you to become stuck in the OCD cycle. The OCD Cycle When you get triggered by anything (internally or externally), you will have an initial thought that evokes the obsessions. You may then feel overwhelmed with difficult internal experiences (e.g., thoughts, feelings, sensatio