Mindset | Blog

Holding Anxiety Gently Expectations What’s the first thought that comes to mind when you wake up in the morning? Is it an anxious thought—maybe about all the things you should do today? Or maybe you’re setting expectations for yourself about what your day should look like? As soon as you notice your anxiety, what do you do? Do you start dreading the day and wonder whether your anxiety will ever subside? Have you noticed how the word expectation implies rigidity? When we place high or unrealistic expectations on ourselves, whether emotionally, physically, or even just about what we think we should accomplish today, our emotional well-being suffers. Now, that’s not to say you don’t need to have goals and dreams about your career

By Kathleen Ririe What is scrupulosity? Picture this- you’re out walking on a beautiful path through the woods. The air smells of fresh rain, the trees are extra lush and green, and as the morning light shines through the trees you are filled with a sense of aliveness. UNTIL. You notice a tiny, sharp rock has found its way into your shoe. You try to ignore it, but the more vigilantly you ignore it, the more obnoxious it becomes. No matter how carefully you step, you can’t avoid the rock in your shoe. Soon you become completely engrossed in noticing the pebble and can no longer enjoy anything else the forest has to offer you. The word scrupulous comes from the Latin word Scrupulum which means a small sharp stone (1), and like t

Going Upstream— Is It Worth It? The o’opu, a freshwater fish native to Hawaii, hatches in fresh water and literally goes with the flow, swimming downstream to reproduce. Its eggs are swept into the ocean, where they develop into young fish. Like salmon, these young fish instinctively return home. They measure less than three inches in size, but their determination to reach their birthplace and start another generation is huge. These fish don’t just swim upstream to get back home. They literally climb waterfalls by using suction disks.1 “How is this possible?” you might ask. Well, before they reenter fresh water to begin their journey home, their bodies are transformed. They develop mouth and pelvic suckers that help them climb.

Annabella Hagen, Clinical Director and founder of Mindset Family Therapy contributed to “What’s the Scoop on Scrup?!” podcast recently. She addressed her background and passion for her work, scrupulosity, OCD in the LDS community, values and self-compassion. Feel free to listen to all or some parts of this podcast. Share it with your loved ones as well as your faith leaders so they can also understand OCD and its effect on someone’s faith and spirituality. In episode #10, she shares the following: Describes her background & passion for this work (3:20) Defines OCD/Scrupulosity (5:02) Talks about OCD in the LDS Community (6:51) Discusses the OCD treatment journey (14:02) Offe

Sometimes treatment for OCD can feel like you are taking a life detour where fear of the unknown may feel overwhelming. Indeed, moving from avoidant and compulsive behaviors (private and public) to living a values-centered life can feel unfamiliar. You may be cautious and sometimes doubtful about your progress. The Following steps will help you navigate the unsure terrain as you trust the process: Maintain a curious mindset. During treatment for OCD (any theme), you’ll learn skills that will allow you to create new neural pathways. It takes time to change behavioral and mental habits.Your mind will want you to focus on the outcome each and every day. Notice and acknowledge that and then choose to maintain a curious mindset. Try

Whenever fear and uncertainty strike, your “problem-solving” mind is ready to offer solutions, though they might not be effective in the long run. The uncertainty (whether God loves you, whether you are a good enough parent, whether you are perfectly honest) that prevails in the areas you care about may lead you to feel overwhelmed. Looking for certainty can feel like facing a bunch of closed doors inviting you to open them so you can find certainty and move on with your life. The OCD mind seems to say, “If you give in to the urge and engage in the private or public compulsion this one time (open that next door), you’ll find certainty once and for all.” You know the feeling. You also know what happens when you open that door. The

Challenges are certainly part of life, and expecting to be free of it all is not realistic, unless you are a kid. For example, one afternoon, my grandkids were doing art projects at my house. One of them decided to create something that was a little too ambitious for his age. When I realized he was no longer working on it, I asked: “What happened to your project?” He answered, “I quit. It was too hard.” I said, “Oh, that’s too bad.” His older sister quickly chimed in: “When things get tough; what do you do? Here are two steps:  You quit and then forget about it!” She likes to tease and be mischievous sometimes. Her parents often talk about doing hard things and to keep trying instead of quitting. So I said, “Sweetie, you can

Drew had been raised in a religious environment. He had been taught to love God, but when he was a teenager, he began to have doubts about his faith. When he did, he felt guilty. He truly loved God and wanted to have a close relationship with Him. However, the more he wished to be good and serve others perfectly, the more doubts he seemed to have about God’s existence. He was terrified to experience intrusive thoughts and doubts while participating in religious activities. He believed the thoughts were his fault for not completing his “spiritual to-do list.” There just didn’t seem to be enough time to do what he believed had to be done so “God would be happy with him.”  The more he tried, the mo

Amber was an agnostic with high morals. Unfortunately, she often questioned her motivations regarding her behaviors and values. “Did I really mean to give that donation, or is it my savior complex? What if God really exists and I am sinning by not believing? Did I inadvertently offend my co-workers yesterday?” She seemed determined to be perfectly good, and was harsh on herself when she realized she failed at it every time. Does Amber’s story sound familiar? Do you often experience the urge to be perfectly good, though you know it’s impossible? Do you believe you need to do more and more each time? Is  life actually overwhelming you because you believe you are not a good enough family member, friend, neighbor, worker, cit

When you struggle with scrupulosity OCD, you probably experience thoughts that are not congruent with your beliefs, who you are, and who you want to become. The natural response to having unpleasant and unwanted thoughts is to want to get rid of them. When they show up, you may wonder, “What do these thoughts say about me? Do I want them? Is that why they won’t go away? If I don’t fight against them, they may become reality. If I let them be in my head, it means I am as bad as if I were acting on them.” These responses can be daunting AND the good news is that you can change the way you respond to your thoughts! First, let’s briefly clarify what thoughts are not, and what they are so you can start learning how to change your rela