Mindset | Blog

By Kathleen Ririe Ever since I was little, pie has been my most anticipated part of the Thanksgiving feast. Pie and Thanksgiving go hand-in-hand. In fact, it is documented that pumpkin pie became a holiday staple beginning at the Pilgrim’s second Thanksgiving in 1623. In 2022 alone, 50 million pumpkin pies were purchased for Thanksgiving. Clearly, we have nailed it on the pie production scale, but how are we doing on the gratitude production scale? A recent Gallup poll reported that since 2020 the percentage of Americans who report being “very satisfied” with their personal life has dropped from 65% in 2020 to only 50% in 2023 (Gallup, January 2-22, 2023). Why has satisfaction declined so much and how can we reverse that in our own

Sometimes treatment for OCD can feel like you are taking a life detour where fear of the unknown may feel overwhelming. Indeed, moving from avoidant and compulsive behaviors (private and public) to living a values-centered life can feel unfamiliar. You may be cautious and sometimes doubtful about your progress. The Following steps will help you navigate the unsure terrain as you trust the process: Maintain a curious mindset. During treatment for OCD (any theme), you’ll learn skills that will allow you to create new neural pathways. It takes time to change behavioral and mental habits.Your mind will want you to focus on the outcome each and every day. Notice and acknowledge that and then choose to maintain a curious mindset. Try

Whether you are considering or have begun treatment for OCD, you might doubt that your unwanted thoughts are related to this mental health challenge. You may believe the unwanted thoughts and doubts are your fault. They are not. It has been said that OCD is the “doubting disease.” So, naturally, you will also doubt whether you have OCD. You may also question the treatment and whether you need to practice psychological flexibility skills to clear your mind. You might not be willing to engage in values-based exposures. You are not alone. Most OCD sufferers experience these doubts and feelings. We can compare treatment for OCD with roadway detours. For example, if you were on your way to work and you encountered a detour, how would

Challenges are certainly part of life, and expecting to be free of it all is not realistic, unless you are a kid. For example, one afternoon, my grandkids were doing art projects at my house. One of them decided to create something that was a little too ambitious for his age. When I realized he was no longer working on it, I asked: “What happened to your project?” He answered, “I quit. It was too hard.” I said, “Oh, that’s too bad.” His older sister quickly chimed in: “When things get tough; what do you do? Here are two steps:  You quit and then forget about it!” She likes to tease and be mischievous sometimes. Her parents often talk about doing hard things and to keep trying instead of quitting. So I said, “Sweetie, you can

Amber was an agnostic with high morals. Unfortunately, she often questioned her motivations regarding her behaviors and values. “Did I really mean to give that donation, or is it my savior complex? What if God really exists and I am sinning by not believing? Did I inadvertently offend my co-workers yesterday?” She seemed determined to be perfectly good, and was harsh on herself when she realized she failed at it every time. Does Amber’s story sound familiar? Do you often experience the urge to be perfectly good, though you know it’s impossible? Do you believe you need to do more and more each time? Is  life actually overwhelming you because you believe you are not a good enough family member, friend, neighbor, worker, cit

In your darkest times… Stay hopeful. Stay faithful. Even when you think God is not there. God is there and your scrupulous mind might just be getting in the way. Remember that your scrupulous mind is not in charge of your life or what you choose to do and believe. You are imperfectly good and God loves you unconditionally. You are enough. Keep the hope!

Fears about the Present Moment Like many, you may be scared to pay attention to the present moment. It may feel impossible. This is normal as this is a new experience. Few are those who can naturally notice their attention drifting and softly bring it back to what is going on in the present. Lucky them! Most people’s minds are constantly drifting, and that’s okay. In Imperfectly Good I share several exercises to help you connect to the present moment. Try them one at a time at your own pace, slowly working through all of them. Find the ones that you like and that make sense to you. These exercises will enhance your mental flexibility. You can use your senses to help you anchor/focus on the here and now. Notice what you see, sm

Carson’s self-evaluative thoughts didn’t seem to cease in his life. He was consumed with thoughts such as, “I’m so dumb! Did I eat something that contained alcohol? I’ve sinned” “I’m so despicable for having those impure thoughts!” “I don’t deserve salvation.” “I’m unworthy of God’s love!” Unfortunately, there are many others who also experience these types of thoughts when they struggle with scrupulosity OCD. The human mind’s main function (OCD or not) is to protect us when it perceives we are in danger. However, when you’ve made a “mistake” (believing you’ve sinned, though you haven’t), and start stressing about it, your mind can quickly come to the rescue. It may provide evaluative thoughts so you can do “better next time.” The q

You can apply these steps when you feel shame or other emotions! You can recognize that being imperfectly good is enough. You can change your relationship with the unpleasant internal experiences (e.g., anxiety, shame, guilt, and uncertainty) and find joy in what matters most to you—your values. Be patient and remember that though you may be imperfectly good, it is possible to navigate religious and moral anxiety (scrupulosity OCD) so you can release fear and find peace!

Next time you feel overwhelmed by shame, take a minute to think of a loved one who has experienced a failure, feels inadequate, or may be struggling with a challenge similar to yours. What would you say to acknowledge their feelings? (“I know you don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot.”) When you experience a difficult moment, what would a loved one say to you? Take a moment and think of your suffering. Imagine your loved one telling you these words. Then, change the statement and say it to yourself. (“I don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot!”) Experiencing scrupulosity OCD is an intense hardship. You need and deserve to treat yourself with kindness when shame shows up! Stories Across Faith: Navigating