Mindset | Blog

Do you have a difficult time being kind to yourself? Loving yourself may not even feel like an option according to your anxious mind. It may say, “You don’t deserve love because….”  You probably can fill in the blank with many unhelpful statements your rule-making mind typically whispers each time you hear someone talk about self-compassion. As we grew up, we were influenced by many people. Words and teachings from our well-meaning parents, teachers, coaches, faith leaders, and society in general have influenced how we think about ourselves. Maybe you grew up hearing, “Good boys don’t cry. Good girls should be nice all the time. You’re not trying hard enough. You should know better!” The list goes on and on. Do you remember ho

It has been said that fish don’t know they are swimming in water; they just swim in it naturally unaware of that fact. It has also been said that our thoughts are our water. Most of us are swimming in our thoughts and we are hardly even aware of it. It is our natural state. Would you agree that this is the case for you? The good news is that we can learn to notice our thoughts and recognize when we are actually ruminating and getting deeper in the rabbit hole or the OCD cycle (if you struggle with OCD). Keep in mind that recognizing and acknowledging one’s thoughts for what they are –thoughts– is not the same as ignoring, suppressing, or resisting them. Have you ever had the experience of being at the movie theatre or a special e

Rumination is what cows do when they rechew their food (cud) to digest it. They spend about eight hours every day doing it. We humans also ruminate. We can spend minutes, hours and even days rechewing our thoughts, especially during times of distress. If you struggle with OCD, your external and internal experiences (e.g., thoughts, memories, feelings, and sensations) are magnified and more persevering during difficult moments, and rumination can lead you to become stuck in the OCD cycle. The OCD Cycle When you get triggered by anything (internally or externally), you will have an initial thought that evokes the obsessions. You may then feel overwhelmed with difficult internal experiences (e.g., thoughts, feelings, sensatio

We, the clinicians, at Mindset Family Therapy are excited about attending this conference. As in previous years, we will be presenting and facilitating some workshops and discussion groups (see below). Come join us! Workshops: The Struggle is Real–Dropping the Struggle and Moving on with Life Description: You may have heard that the problem isn’t with the content of OCD, but rather the struggle with the content. What does this mean? Come and learn how to drop the struggle with your thoughts and feelings so that you can live a life composed of what matters to you. Hear stories of those who were able to do this and thrive. Learn skills of how to identify the struggle, identify how it doesn’t help, and what can be mo

Is your teen creative and bright? Does she seem to take pride in the activities she undertakes, only to feel overpowered to the point of wanting to quit? Does your adolescent seem to feel embarrassed or even ashamed when she makes mistakes in front of others? Is she avoiding friends because she compares herself with others she believes are more talented than she is?  Do you have a teen who excels academically and beats himself up when he doesn’t get a perfect score? Does he seem to have unrealistic high standards for himself? Does he also expect others to hold the same high standards? Does he quit when things get overwhelming and his reason is, “I just can’t dedicate enough time to this. I’m too busy!” Does your teen seem to spen

Julia loved her children more than anything else, but the intrusive thoughts about possibly harming them were relentless. She felt a great deal of shame. She didn’t dare share her thoughts with anyone for fear of being judged, or worst yet, losing her children. She had heard horrifying stories about mothers who lost their children because of abuse. “Will I be one of those moms? Am I going to harm my children?” The more she tried to get rid of those tormenting images and thoughts, the longer they seemed to stay. If you struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder, your OCD may be targeting what and who matters most to you in your life. That’s what the OCD mind does, and it is very painful. When those thoughts show up, you probab

I recently attended the online Faith and Mental Health Conference organized by the International OCD Foundation. Valerie Andrews, one of the speakers, shared her story. She acknowledged that the mental illness stigma in our society is decreasing little by little, thankfully. That being said, we still have further to go in some areas of our society. For example, misconceptions still exist among many faithful individuals who mean well, but misconstrue their faith’s teachings. Leaders, relatives, and friends of individuals afflicted with a mental illness may believe the person just needs to abandon sin, pray harder, be better, etc. and their suffering will decrease or be gone. It’s great to be devoted to one’s faith and religion, it