IMPERFECTLY GOOD
Graphic: Changing My Relationship with Shame
Next time you feel overwhelmed by shame, take a minute to think of a loved one who has experienced a failure, feels inadequate, or may be struggling with a challenge similar to yours. What would you say to acknowledge their feelings? (“I know you don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot.”) When you experience a difficult moment, what would a loved one say to you? Take a moment and think of your suffering. Imagine your loved one telling you these words. Then, change the statement and say it to yourself. (“I don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot!”) Experiencing scrupulosity OCD is an intense hardship. You need and deserve to treat yourself with kindness when shame shows up! Stories Across Faith: Navigating
Changing our Relationship with Shame and Guilt
We all have stories that may have initially triggered shame, guilt or other unpleasant feelings in our lives. When we were kids, we all fibbed to our parents. Do you remember what happened when you got caught and the grown-ups reprimanded you and expressed their disappointment? You might remember it as a funny or unpleasant story. Have you noticed how your amazing mind reminds you of it at times? The Amazing Human Mind The adults in our lives most likely had good intentions in correcting us. If in that very moment we experienced unpleasant feelings such as shame and guilt, our brain automatically recorded the link between the situation and the feelings and thoughts we were experiencing then. AND there is a slight little challe
Self-Compassion
Can you develop kindness and compassion for your present self as you would for a young child? Will you be willing to be imperfectly good and live your values–do what matters most in your life? Some people worry that in loving themselves they’re being selfish and, worse, narcissistic. The reality is that the scrupulous mind is leading you to become the extreme opposite of a narcissist. As you get fused with unhelpful thoughts and feelings, you begin to feel miserable and fail to give yourself even a crumb of love. It is not effective, is it? Would God want you to mistreat yourself? You can develop self-compassion skills when you a) connect to the present moment of pain, b) remember your common humanity with others, and
This or That?
Life is difficult, and when scrupulosity OCD is present, it can be tremendously hard! The good news is that you can learn how to respond to your thoughts and feelings. You can choose to live with vitality even when those unpleasant thoughts and feelings are present. When you don’t engage with the unhelpful thoughts, you can start creating new brain pathways that will allow you to be free from the scrupulosity trap. You can be imperfectly good and live your faith and other values you care about most in your life!
