Mindset | Blog

If a physical pain is not debilitating, we tolerate it for a few days because we believe it will go away. There are times we talk to friends and family members to find solutions to our ailments.  Sometimes we are lucky and the pain goes away on its own.  There are times, however, when the pain becomes unbearable and we end up in the ER having surgery 30 minutes within arrival.  Then after a few weeks of recovery, we go back to being ourselves. What do you do with emotional and mental challenges?  Do you treat them the same way? It’s wise to be informed and learn what may be happening with your emotions and thoughts.  In this day and age, it’s easy to enter keywords online and come up with enough answers.  This can be helpful but it can also

[See original article published here.] Mom said: “I’m struggling with my son. He teases his sister so much! He also yanks toys from his baby brother and runs away. The baby starts screaming and I tell Joseph to stop. The other day I told him: ‘I don’t want to see you do that again!’ Then I left the room. But I decided to stay behind the door and wait to see what he’d do. Sure enough, he pushed the baby down. I came in and told him, ‘Joseph, you need to stop hurting your little brother.’ He responded: ‘But mom, I didn’t see you!’” Mom reported her relationship with her son had suffered as she was constantly saying, “No Joseph, stop that! Don’t do that!” Besides doing play therapy with Joseph, I also spent time talking to his parents reviewi

This past Christmas I received a 27oz. bag of Ghirardelli chocolates. I don’t think I’m a chocoholic but I do enjoy chocolates. The night I received the bag, I ate and shared a few with my husband. They were delicious. I saved the rest for “rainy” days. And this winter, there have been just too many rainy, snowy, and foggy days! The craving and my hippocampus It happens late at night. The need for something sweet. Tangerines usually suffice. It may take as many as four, but my chocolate stash remains intact. But then there are those days — you know which ones — when you just need something stronger to get the job done. It’s then that the thought of my hidden stash pops up in my mind. I say to myself: “You had a great eatin

[See original article published here.] “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he….”  ~ Proverbs 23:7 Grace had grown up in a religious home. She was familiar with the above proverb. She understood it as a reminder to maintain pure thoughts to be a better person. Unfortunately, she was challenged by obsessive-compulsive disorder(OCD), and every time she read verses such as this, her anxiety and guilt would torment her. Honesty and integrity were often talked about in her home. Impure and blasphemous thoughts were against her religious beliefs. She had learned that if she were to sin, she could take steps to be forgiven. A broken heart, contrite spirit, and confession were essential. Her troubles began in middle school. She was taking a his

[See original article published here.] Mike’s thoughts were driving him “crazy. One thought would lead him into another and another. His anxiety would shoot to the roof and he couldn’t stand it. He felt these thoughts would never stop tormenting him. He appeared distracted and aloof to those around him. He was too busy thinking. His brain was constantly on rewind and reviewing his thoughts and actions. Did I say this? Did she say that? What if I said this? What if this happened? What if? What if… were constant questions in his mind. Sometimes he felt as if his brain were going to explode because it was racing a thousand miles per hour. He was sure about one thing: he needed 100 percent assurance regarding his thoughts and doubts. He spent c

A while ago, I met a client whose family loved the ocean.  Every opportunity they had to go on vacation, they chose a place where they could body surf.  I asked him to tell me the skills one requires to succeed at this pastime many ocean fans enjoy.  I find the parallels useful in understanding treatment for OCD.  I especially use these comparisons when my clients love the ocean also.   Body surfing: Patience is king if you want to learn the trade. Learning to recognize the waves is important so you know what to do. Be in good physical condition.  You need to know how to swim and tread water, in case the ocean water flows high and you can’t touch the ocean floor. When the wave comes, go under it or ride it before it knocks you down. T

Anxiety is something you want to keep at bay. You probably avoid and do whatever it takes to find relief.  Despite hearing and reading “there is no cure” for OCD, you most likely keep your guard up to find at least a few seconds without the doubt.   Curing a doubt becomes a debt that goes out of control just like those loans people get at the Pay-day Loans Companies.  “I’ll pay this debt as soon as I get paid” you tell yourself.  Unfortunately, the days, weeks and months go by and what began as an immediate and small loan has become an insurmountable debt you have to pay.   What happens when you want to cure the doubt? Logically, satisfying the doubt should work similarly to satisfying your thirst.  When thirsty, you gulp a bottle

When I first talk to my clients about ERP (exposure and response prevention), they have a puzzling and incredulous look on their faces. They seem to be thinking:   “You are telling me, I am paying you so you can make me more anxious?  I am here for you to take away my anxiety, not to give me more of it!” Because I can “read” their mind I explain in detail what ERP means and I will briefly summarize it here:   We clarify the bad reputation ERP has thanks to reality TV shows in which OCD clients are crying, screaming, and on the verge of a full-blown panic attack because they’re being “exposed” to that which they fear the most. ERP is about helping you “habituate” or get used to that which you fear.  However, it is by NO means like you’

[View original article published in Psych Central here] “Say good-night mommy, say good-night,” pleaded Johnny every night. It wasn’t as if he had not already read several books, been tucked in, and kissed good night. Johnny’s pleas continued every night. After the third or fourth nagging requests, she would get irritated and say, “I am done! This is the last one. Good night!” Johnny would cry and ask for more “good nights.” Mom didn’t know it at the time, but she was reinforcing Johnny’s need for reassurance. One “goodnight” was not enough, but neither were ten. Ritualized hand-washing or other grooming compulsions were absent. There didn’t seem to be any checking compulsions. If there had been, Johnny’s parents probably would have sough