Mindset | Blog

Do you have a difficult time being kind to yourself? Loving yourself may not even feel like an option according to your anxious mind. It may say, “You don’t deserve love because….”  You probably can fill in the blank with many unhelpful statements your rule-making mind typically whispers each time you hear someone talk about self-compassion. As we grew up, we were influenced by many people. Words and teachings from our well-meaning parents, teachers, coaches, faith leaders, and society in general have influenced how we think about ourselves. Maybe you grew up hearing, “Good boys don’t cry. Good girls should be nice all the time. You’re not trying hard enough. You should know better!” The list goes on and on. Do you remember ho

“Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed—the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. Decisions do determine destiny.” –Thomas S. Monson You are most likely familiar with stories of courage in the Old Testament. They can help you remember to utilize your faith while engaging in treatment for mental and emotional health challenges like OCD, severe anxiety, or depression. Courage and Trust Joshua was advised to be strong and of good courage. He trusted the Lord. He was told to take the Israelites across the Jordan River. If you had been one of the priests, how would you have felt if you had been asked to step into the flooding river while carrying the Ark of the Covenant? Would you ha

“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought of itself.” What happens when you keep worrying about the future, focusing on mistakes of the past, or judging yourself every day? Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as “Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” As we do this, we become observers without making evaluations or judgments about our internal (e.g., thoughts, memories, evaluations, feelings, sensations, and urges) experiences. When you struggle with life’s challenges, your anxious mind provides advice so you can protect yourself from pain and discomfort. Are the coping strategies you are using now providing you with a vital and mean

Julia loved her children more than anything else, but the intrusive thoughts about possibly harming them were relentless. She felt a great deal of shame. She didn’t dare share her thoughts with anyone for fear of being judged, or worst yet, losing her children. She had heard horrifying stories about mothers who lost their children because of abuse. “Will I be one of those moms? Am I going to harm my children?” The more she tried to get rid of those tormenting images and thoughts, the longer they seemed to stay. If you struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder, your OCD may be targeting what and who matters most to you in your life. That’s what the OCD mind does, and it is very painful. When those thoughts show up, you probab

Do we need a holiday about love to be reminded to love others? Probably not. How about a reminder to be kind and loving to ourselves? When things go wrong and we make mistakes, our natural reaction may be to beat ourselves up, but this response doesn’t provide the joy we all yearn for in our lives. Some people have a list of reasons for not loving themselves. The belief that “even a crumb of love” will lead them to become selfish and uncaring human beings might be included on that list. This assumption may be based on their mind’s unhelpful advice and negative experiences. Though this approach is ineffective, they become stuck with these views. According to research, in order to experience better mental, physical and emotional we

There is clearly opposition in all things. The pain you experience with your current challenges wouldn’t be there if you didn’t care. What can you do when what you are doing is not working? You can learn how to respond to your unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. You can find the joy and peace you used to enjoy despite your emotional and mental pain. You know, it is possible!

When things don’t go as expected, we can learn to respond in a flexible way. There are some days though, when we simply get stuck with our thoughts and feelings and react rigidly. That is just how it goes, even when we “know better.” For example, a few weeks ago, I had scheduled an appointment to have a standard medical exam that didn’t take place because “it got cancelled.” When the receptionist told me it was cancelled, I said, “I didn’t cancel it. If I had, I wouldn’t be here!” She didn’t seem empathetic. I asked her to check who may have cancelled it, and to see if I could still have the test. She called the lab and they said I could come back in two hours. After looking in the computer, she discovered their “system” had auto

We are all traveling on the same train of humanity and are very familiar with pain. However, it may be our dream to someday be free of a particular challenge. “Someday I’ll be free of this thing,” we may say. Yes, we can all hope this will be the case. However, when we begin to hyper-focus on getting rid of something that afflicts us and that we can’t control, have you noticed what happens? What does it feel like when you’ve done everything you possible can do and yet, the pain persists? It is frustrating and suffering is magnified because we may be insistent that this challenge has to go so we can move on with our lives. The solution? Do not give up and lose hope. It has been said that when hardships come our way, grit, purpose

There is no doubt anxiety is an emotion no one likes to experience. Some of us may experience it every once in a while, others may experience it too often to count. The fact is anxiety is an internal event within us, and the more we try to control it, the less we can do so. When we try to suppress this unpleasant experience in our bodies, it may feel like trying to push a beach ball underwater. As much as we push it down, it comes right back with more force—and it might even hit us in the face! Though suppressing and ignoring anxiety appears to make sense, it actually doesn’t work. We were built with a protective mind. Its number one function is to protect us from harm and discomfort. Thus, our minds will be on the lookout to provid