Mindset | Blog

Do you have a difficult time being kind to yourself? Loving yourself may not even feel like an option according to your anxious mind. It may say, “You don’t deserve love because….”  You probably can fill in the blank with many unhelpful statements your rule-making mind typically whispers each time you hear someone talk about self-compassion. As we grew up, we were influenced by many people. Words and teachings from our well-meaning parents, teachers, coaches, faith leaders, and society in general have influenced how we think about ourselves. Maybe you grew up hearing, “Good boys don’t cry. Good girls should be nice all the time. You’re not trying hard enough. You should know better!” The list goes on and on. Do you remember ho

Do we need a holiday about love to be reminded to love others? Probably not. How about a reminder to be kind and loving to ourselves? When things go wrong and we make mistakes, our natural reaction may be to beat ourselves up, but this response doesn’t provide the joy we all yearn for in our lives. Some people have a list of reasons for not loving themselves. The belief that “even a crumb of love” will lead them to become selfish and uncaring human beings might be included on that list. This assumption may be based on their mind’s unhelpful advice and negative experiences. Though this approach is ineffective, they become stuck with these views. According to research, in order to experience better mental, physical and emotional we

When things don’t go as expected, we can learn to respond in a flexible way. There are some days though, when we simply get stuck with our thoughts and feelings and react rigidly. That is just how it goes, even when we “know better.” For example, a few weeks ago, I had scheduled an appointment to have a standard medical exam that didn’t take place because “it got cancelled.” When the receptionist told me it was cancelled, I said, “I didn’t cancel it. If I had, I wouldn’t be here!” She didn’t seem empathetic. I asked her to check who may have cancelled it, and to see if I could still have the test. She called the lab and they said I could come back in two hours. After looking in the computer, she discovered their “system” had auto

“Additional tutoring and suffering appears to be the pattern for the Lord’s most apt pupils. Our existence, therefore, is a continuum matched by God’s stretching curriculum.” Neal A. Maxwell1 Society’s Influence Our society has come up with some amazing antidotes to unhappiness, and we can sometimes conclude that we are not supposed to suffer. We can then easily forget our spiritual “why.” Even though we read and hear talks from our prophets and leaders, our minds get stuck with the idea that “I’m supposed to be happy all the time.” “There must be something wrong with me if I’m not happy.” Finding the emotional cure seems to elude us all when we seek it even more. Sometimes we begin to focus on anything that will provi

https://mindsetadminportal.wpcomstaging.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/przemyslaw-zientala-54brsfzksgg-unsplash.jpg The year 2020 will go down in history as one of our most challenging and disliked years. No question we all have been struggling in one way or another. However, some of us may already have been experiencing hard times in a variety of ways, whether it be mental, emotional, physical, social, or financial. When we are in the middle of hardships, we lament our circumstances with what should’ve, would’ve, or could’ve been, if it weren’t for that particular difficulty. We get stuck with emotions, thoughts, judgments, sensations, and urges to want to control what we cannot, especially our internal pain. We may not notice th

Halloween, All Hallows’ Day and Día de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) are part of family traditions for many. Halloween may be most familiar to you if you were born in the United States. Growing up in Guatemala my family used to celebrate el Día de Los Muertos. At that time families visit cemeteries, eat delicious food and remember their departed loved ones’ lives. Today, I’d like to invite you to think about the Day of the Dead and imagine what your grave will look like after you’re gone. Most importantly, what would the engraving on your tombstone say? Picture your loved ones talking about you and trying to decide what to inscribe. What would they think of you based on the way you’ve spent your time and energy every day of your life?

December can be a time of stress as you hurry to attend Christmas shows, plan parties, finish shopping, send greetings, and help your family and friends complete last minute preparations. Whether you have been practicing the skills you’ve learned in therapy, have just begun treatment, or haven’t yet begun, your scrupulosity OCD may flareup. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” 1 Indeed, Christmas is a wonderful time to reflect on your religious beliefs and your relationship with the Lord. However, the season itself may trigger your scrupulosity. Questions may arise regarding your worthiness and God’s love for you. The uncertainty that