Mindset | Blog

Fears about the Present Moment Like many, you may be scared to pay attention to the present moment. It may feel impossible. This is normal as this is a new experience. Few are those who can naturally notice their attention drifting and softly bring it back to what is going on in the present. Lucky them! Most people’s minds are constantly drifting, and that’s okay. In Imperfectly Good I share several exercises to help you connect to the present moment. Try them one at a time at your own pace, slowly working through all of them. Find the ones that you like and that make sense to you. These exercises will enhance your mental flexibility. You can use your senses to help you anchor/focus on the here and now. Notice what you see, sm

Carson’s self-evaluative thoughts didn’t seem to cease in his life. He was consumed with thoughts such as, “I’m so dumb! Did I eat something that contained alcohol? I’ve sinned” “I’m so despicable for having those impure thoughts!” “I don’t deserve salvation.” “I’m unworthy of God’s love!” Unfortunately, there are many others who also experience these types of thoughts when they struggle with scrupulosity OCD. The human mind’s main function (OCD or not) is to protect us when it perceives we are in danger. However, when you’ve made a “mistake” (believing you’ve sinned, though you haven’t), and start stressing about it, your mind can quickly come to the rescue. It may provide evaluative thoughts so you can do “better next time.” The q

When OCD takes over your life, you might feel like you have no choice. OCD can make you believe that avoidance is the only option. It may seem helpful but only temporarily. Though anxiety and uncertainty is part of life, the OCD mind may insist that you can eventually get rid of those feelings permanently. You may fall for its lies when it says, “If you don’t do your rituals, you will be anxious. Your worries may come true. You may end up acting on them. Fear will keep you safe!” Hearing those thoughts coming out from your mind can be scary. You may falsely believe that your compulsions (public and private) prevent you from acting on your fears. You may believe these rituals are actually helping you, but are they? You don’t ha

Next time you feel overwhelmed by shame, take a minute to think of a loved one who has experienced a failure, feels inadequate, or may be struggling with a challenge similar to yours. What would you say to acknowledge their feelings? (“I know you don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot.”) When you experience a difficult moment, what would a loved one say to you? Take a moment and think of your suffering. Imagine your loved one telling you these words. Then, change the statement and say it to yourself. (“I don’t like feeling this way. Shame hurts a lot!”) Experiencing scrupulosity OCD is an intense hardship. You need and deserve to treat yourself with kindness when shame shows up! Stories Across Faith: Navigating

We all have stories that may have initially triggered shame, guilt or other unpleasant feelings in our lives. When we were kids, we all fibbed to our parents. Do you remember what happened when you got caught and the grown-ups reprimanded you and expressed their disappointment? You might remember it as a funny or unpleasant story. Have you noticed how your amazing mind reminds you of it at times? The Amazing Human Mind The adults in our lives most likely had good intentions in correcting us. If in that very moment we experienced unpleasant feelings such as shame and guilt, our brain automatically recorded the link between the situation and the feelings and thoughts we were experiencing then. AND there is a slight little challe

Treating anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder became personal for me years before I became a psychotherapist. Unbeknownst to my husband and me, our youngest son’s early childhood stubborn streaks were an indication of his anxiety challenges. By the time he was in elementary school, his “just so” behaviors were evident, but we hoped he would grow out of them. By middle school, we realized he needed professional help. Long story short, we literally “took the tour” around the different cities in our state in search of a therapist who knew how to treat anxiety disorders and OCD, to no avail. It wasn’t until our son was in his early twenties that he himself found a specialist from California. Our experience motivated me

How often do you avoid or opt out of situations because they cause anxiety, uncertainty, or other unpleasant emotions? Consider what may be on the other side of your fear. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some

When unpleasant thoughts and feelings show up, it may seem like you don’t have a choice in how to respond, but you do! You can choose the most traveled road (the easy path and compulsive behaviors) or the one less traveled (psychological flexibility) path. The least traveled path will require more work, patience, and effort, AND it will make all the difference!

Is religious and/or moral anxiety getting in the way of you focusing of what’s important in your life? Learn how to respond to your intrusive thoughts and focus on the here and now! Is religious and/or moral anxiety getting in the way of you focusing of what’s important in your life? Learn how to respond to your intrusive thoughts and focus on the here and now!

Have you ever had an experience when you felt like God was literally giving you a hug? A feeling that was so intense you recognized that God is indeed aware of you? Perhaps that hug came from a loved one showing you how much they care about you no matter what you look or sound like, what you do, think or feel. Can you recall that experience? What shows up for you as you remember that moment of love? When love is absent, we yearn for it because we were created to love and be loved. When we struggle with mental, physical, emotional, social, or financial challenges, we may forget that there are people and a Supreme Being who greatly care about us. The other day at my church services, a young man was speaking about his goals and d