Mindset | Blog

[View original article published in Psych Central here] I once met a young man who had had many successes in his youth. He was intelligent and outgoing. He had always been the star in high school and had enjoyed the praise he received from others, but something was amiss. As we talked, I discovered that his perfectionism was getting in the way. He was feeling depressed and exhausted. He couldn’t keep up with the demands he had set for himself. He said, “My teachers think I’m gifted. They have no idea how much time I spend on each of my assignments. Now, I have to keep up with those expectations. I don’t think I can do this anymore!” Sometimes parents are unable to recognize the signs and later lament themselves. They wish they had noticed t

October 10th was designated as Mental Health Day.  Every day is a mental health day for me when I see my clients try to make their life better despite their suffering. If you suffer with a mental health illness, don’t hesitate to share your struggles.  You may be surprised that your friend, boss, best friend’s daughter or spouse may also be experiencing emotional and mental pain.  Successful men and women with a mental illness can be an example to society and can contribute to the idea that a mental disorder does not define the person. Society needs to understand that a person can be “normal” and still have mental health challenges. I love Kevin Breel’s Ted talk.  He is right on with his message. Let’s stop intolerance and

[Original article published here.] Do you wish there were more hours in the day to get through your to-do list? Have you had a friend ask, “Are you okay?” If so, were you surprised because you hadn’t even noticed what you were feeling lately? Career, home, and other activities can get overwhelming. When it’s time to take something off your plate, how do you handle it? Recognize your body signals. The time comes when our stressed-out brain can’t take it anymore and our body begins to suffer the consequences. Our neck and back begin to ache. Our sleeping becomes disturbed and our appetite changes. We often get sick and begin to experience pains we didn’t know were possible.Are you able to recognize your body signals when your plate is gettin

If a physical pain is not debilitating, we tolerate it for a few days because we believe it will go away. There are times we talk to friends and family members to find solutions to our ailments.  Sometimes we are lucky and the pain goes away on its own.  There are times, however, when the pain becomes unbearable and we end up in the ER having surgery 30 minutes within arrival.  Then after a few weeks of recovery, we go back to being ourselves. What do you do with emotional and mental challenges?  Do you treat them the same way? It’s wise to be informed and learn what may be happening with your emotions and thoughts.  In this day and age, it’s easy to enter keywords online and come up with enough answers.  This can be helpful but it can also

Mary was experiencing low self-esteem and worthlessness.   She’d say her eyes were “broken faucets.” She’d cry often, and would easily get irritated and explode at her children and husband. She had gained weight in the past year. She snacked all day and would finish a bag of chips in minutes without even noticing. She had difficulty concentrating, felt muscle tension, and above all, she was feeling like the “worst mother in the world.” One day she reported she just wanted to “escape her world.”   She was not suicidal but just wanted a break. She didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel any time soon. Sometimes she would say things like “I feel my heart being crushed. I am a bad person. I am exhausted and ready to quit. Things