OCD or Not: What Do You Want Your Life to Be About?

Living with OCD—any subtype—can be tormenting and feel completely intolerable. It can convince you that you cannot do anything meaningful until the unpleasant, unwanted thoughts and feelings disappear. You may believe that only then can you move forward and fully engage in life.

As a clinician who has worked for decades with individuals struggling with OCD—and as a parent of a son who has faced it himself—I know how real this suffering is. OCD has a powerful way of persuading people that life must wait until OCD stops.

But what if that isn’t true?

What If the Goal Isn’t to Make OCD Go Away?

What if the goal is not to eliminate intrusive thoughts, images, urges, or uncomfortable sensations—but to change your relationship with them?

And what if effective OCD treatment allowed you to begin living your life now, doing what matters most to you, even when discomfort shows up?¹

At Mindset Family Therapy, our primary treatment approach is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT helps individuals develop psychological flexibility—the ability to be open to internal experiences, present in the moment, and actively engaged in a life guided by values.²

Psychological Flexibility: A Different Way Forward

Psychological flexibility³ means learning how to live with thoughts and feelings rather than fighting them. Instead of organizing your life around avoiding discomfort, you learn how to stay connected to what truly matters to you.

As this flexibility grows, people often experience:

• Greater vitality and resilience
• A renewed sense of hope
• More peace and meaning

—not just the short-term relief that comes from compulsions or avoidance.

As you develop psychological flexibility, you become more willing to allow painful internal experiences—thoughts, feelings, sensations, and urges—to come and go without getting stuck in them. You learn how to step out of the OCD trap rather than struggle endlessly with it.

ACT also enhances awareness. You begin to notice that you are aware of your thoughts without having to become absorbed in them. This awareness creates space—space to choose actions aligned with your values rather than reacting automatically through compulsive or avoidant behaviors.

Skills That Apply Beyond OCD

The skills taught at Mindset Family Therapy help you change your relationship with thoughts and feelings related to OCD—but they don’t stop there.

ACT skills can be applied to:

• Workplace stress
• Relationship challenges
• Parenting difficulties
• Health concerns
• Emotional or financial stress

In other words, these skills support life, not just symptom management.

Responding Differently to Life’s Challenges

Imagine a conflict with a coworker. Strong emotions arise—anger, frustration, urges to react. Psychological flexibility allows you to pause and notice what’s happening inside you.

You might:

• Ground yourself in the present moment
• Take a slow breath in, and as you breathe out, imagine the air moving gently around the tightness in your chest
• Anchor yourself using your senses
• Remember that you value kindness, respect, or professionalism

From there, you choose how to respond—not based on impulse, but based on who you want to be.

This is what it means to remember what you want your life to be about.

As We Enter 2026, Ask Yourself:

What do I want to stand for this year?

In Disney’s Alice in Wonderland,⁴Alice comes to a crossroads and isn’t sure which path to take. When she asks the Cheshire Cat which way she should go, he replies, “That depends on where you want to get to.” When Alice says it doesn’t really matter, the Cat responds, “Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go.”

Unlike Alice, you can know which direction you’re going—when you allow your values (who and what matters most to you) to guide you. When values lead the way, life doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming, stuck, or confusing.

When Obstacles Show Up

As you choose to act on what you want your life to stand for, you will encounter obstacles. Unwanted thoughts, painful feelings, urges, and self-doubt may feel like stumbling boulders in your path. At times, they may tempt you to turn back or give up.

Pause and reflect:

• What tends to entangle me?
• What behaviors might be keeping me stuck?
• What skills can help me keep moving forward?

ACT supports you in continuing toward who and what matters most—even when discomfort is present. You can respond differently to unwanted thoughts and feelings, without letting the struggle with them pull you away from living a life of vitality, purpose, and joy—with or without OCD.

Because your life is not meant to be on hold.

Invitation

If you’re struggling with OCD or feeling stuck in patterns that no longer serve you, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Support is available, and meaningful change is possible.

At Mindset Family Therapy, we help individuals and families learn practical, compassionate skills to live fuller, values-driven lives—even in the presence of challenges.

If you’re curious about how ACT therapy could support you, we invite you to reach out and start a conversation.

References

1. Hagen, A. (2022). Imperfectly good: Navigating religious and moral anxiety to release fear and find peace. Mindset Family Therapy.
2. Hayes, S. C. (2019). A liberated mind: How to pivot toward what matters. Avery.
3. Hayes, S. C. (2020–2021). ACT in practice [Continuing education course]. Praxis Continuing Education and Training.
4. Geronimi, C., Jackson, W., & Luske, H. (Directors). (1951). Alice in Wonderland [Film]. Walt Disney Productions.

By Annabella Hagen, LCSW

Photo by Rébecca DUMAS on Unsplash