Anxiety and Uncertainty: How to Find Peace

Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, but while we can’t control the future, we can control our actions. Learn how to find peace by focusing on what we can actually do today.

Whether it’s a change in the seasons, a new political era, or a different stage of our lives, uncertainty is always there. Whether we are navigating the milestones of dating, marriage, or parenthood, we share a common struggle: we simply do not like not knowing what will happen next.

When a stressful event occurs, we do our best to respond. However, for those of us who struggle with anxiety, worries about ourselves and our loved ones can become much stronger.

Your Mind’s Primary Job

The human mind’s number one function is to keep you alive. During critical times, it jumps in to do what it does best: scanning for threats. It provides many “what-if” scenarios to help you be ready.

The problem is that anxiety often pushes us to choose the “safest” path—the one that offers quick relief from fear. Unfortunately, these “safe” choices often don’t help us become strong or help us grow through hard times.

Is Worry Worth Your Precious Time?

In moments of high stress, your mind may whisper: “What if my children never get to enjoy life because of the weather crisis?” or “What if I go to that game and something terrible happens?” There is an irony here: the more you care about something, the more your mind creates doubt about it. Just when you want to feel sure the most, your mind makes you feel the most uncertain.

The Trap of the Anxious Mind

When your mind makes these scary predictions, it’s easy to get stuck in them and believe them 100 percent. The mind convinces us that if we worry enough, we can actually control the situation.

This is a trap. Uncertainty is part of life because there are very few things we can actually control.

Recognizing What You Can Truly Control

It has been said that we can only truly control three things: what we do with our hands, our feet, and our mouth.

• Your Hands: You can choose to pick up your phone and send a kind text to a friend, or you can choose to use those same hands to “doomscroll” through bad news on social media.
• Your Mouth: You can choose to say something mean to a co-worker, or you can choose to take a quiet breath and walk away.
• Your Feet: You can choose where you walk and what actions you take.

While we cannot control the thoughts that pop into our heads, we can control how we respond to them with our actions. We cannot control what others say, how our family acts, or the environment. We can only control our response.

Choosing to Move Forward

It is natural to want to avoid pain. However, your mind doesn’t always realize that “happily ever after” is mostly found in movie fantasies. Life is hard, and struggle is what creates strength.

The moments you spend worrying about the future are already bringing you pain. When you follow your anxious mind’s unrealistic advice to avoid everything, you get stuck and lose your joy. Mental freedom begins when you stop fighting the anxiety and start choosing your actions instead.

How to Practice Noticing Uncertainty

Making room for uncertainty is a process, but it is doable. Next time your mind tells you to “control” a situation through worry, ask yourself:

1. “If I listen to my mind right now, will it get me closer to the life I want?”
2. If the answer is yes: Go ahead and take action.
3. If you are not sure: Simply acknowledge the thought.

Respond to your mind differently:

• “I hear you, mind. Thanks.”
• “I am noticing a scary thought.”
• “Thank you, mind. You are doing a good job of giving me a lot of anxiety today.”
• “I am noticing the feeling of uncertainty, and I can allow it to be there.”

The Choice is Yours

Life is uncertain, but you have a choice on where to focus. If you change nothing, nothing will change.

What will you do with your hands, feet, or mouth to change something today?

Photo by Efrem Efre