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CONFIDENT CHILDREN

Talking To Your Child About OCD

10.15.15

Sometimes parents hesitate telling their children that they have OCD. Their reasons may vary, but the most common reasons are the following: They worry about the stigma that surrounds OCD, and the possible negative effects on their child. They don’t want their child to be labeled, treated, or looked at differently. They wish to avoid hurt feelings for their child. They worry their child may feel broken or that something is wrong with them. They don’t want their child’s confidence to suffer. On the other hand, consider why talking about it may be a better option: When children don’t understand what is happening to them, they figure out their own solution. The danger is that their solution may not be correct. When you talk about OCD for w

What is the Prescription for Raising Entitled Kids?

12.22.14

[View original article published in Psych Central here] A 10-year-old girl stomped out of the bathroom when her mom told her she would need to clean the mess she had made after her shower. She told her mom, ”You’re the mom. It’s your job!” A 6-year-old boy went to the grocery store with his mom. He noticed a treat he wanted. His mom explained that they had other treats at home and that she wasn’t going to buy it. He answered, “Well, if you don’t want to buy it, then just give me the money and I’ll buy it.” A 16-year-old girl was angry at her parents for not letting her take the family car with her friends to another state for the weekend. She told them, “If you really loved me, you would let me go!” Does this sound familiar? The pressure y

Teaching Kids To Be Grateful Every Day

11.19.14

[View original article published in Parenting.answers.com  here] Why is it important that children learn to be grateful? How can you help them? Here are 3 ideas that will work. Children and Gratitude Research has shown that those who are grateful have better long-term health. They are happier and more pleasant to be around. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor and author of The How of Happiness says, “People who are consistently grateful are happier, more energetic, more hopeful, and experience more frequent positive emotions. They also tend to be more helpful and empathetic, more spiritual and religious, more forgiving, and less materialistic than others who are less grateful.” When children feel gratitude, they will be happy with

Helping Kids Overcome Their OCD Fears – Some DOs and DON’Ts

10.13.14

Any parent who witnesses their children’s excruciating fear will instinctively react to protect, help, and comfort them.  That is the expected and the right thing to do.  However, when children experience fear due to OCD and anxiety, parents can learn the right skills. They can intervene in a positive way to help their children overcome their challenges and avoid overprotecting them. Grug Crood from the film The Croods comes to mind.  Grug was an overprotective father and his favorite words were: “Never not be afraid!”  His number one goal was to keep his family free from danger.  Of course that advice proved to be ineffective.  His belief was that other families had been destroyed because they had not been afraid enough!  It turned out tha

Teaching Children to Do Hard Things

6.16.14

[View original article published in Psych Central here] A child and his grandfather are at the playground. There is a high teepee set up with ropes and it looks challenging for the 3-year-old boy. His grandfather invites him to climb it. As he takes the first step toward the top, he hesitates and feels scared. His grandfather encourages him and tells him, “Sam, I know this is hard, but you can do hard things!” The young boy answers, “No! My daddy says I can only do easy things!” His grandfather smiles because he knows his son would never say that. He then encourages the young boy to climb the ropes one step at a time. When he gets to the top, his grandfather says to him, “See, Sam, you can do hard things!” Sam exclaims, “I can do hard thin

A 3-piece puzzle to fostering life skills

3.6.14

[Published by MomClick Utah and The Daily Herald here] If you were to compile a list of life skills you believe your children need to succeed in their lives, what would they be? Vision, confidence and heart are three life skills that work together like pieces of a puzzle. You may want to add them to your list and make them part of your family culture. Vision “Dream it, believe it, achieve it.” We have all heard this quote. Here is a story of a young man who made this quote a reality:  Anthony Robles was born with one leg. None of the doctors could explain why. Growing up, his mother taught him that “God made you this way for a reason,” and she made him believe it. In junior high he joined the wrestling team at his sc

How to make your parenting vision a reality

1.26.14

[Published by MomClick Utah and The Daily Herald here.] “A company without a vision cannot succeed. And a vision without a plan is the recipe for failure.” — Kevin Harrington, ABC’s “Shark Tank” judge Our lives are loaded with plans: business plans, retirement plans, health insurance plans, workout plans and vacation plans. But what about having a parenting plan? Parenting is just like any other undertaking in life. To increase our chances of a successful outcome, we usually need to know where we are going, and how we are going to get there. I would like to suggest a three-part parenting plan that will hopefully provide you with some ideas to implement in your family. For best results, the three parts of

Passionate parenting begins with a vision

1.16.14

[Published by MomClick Utah and The Daily Herald here.] Imagine for a moment that when you were recently taking down your Christmas tree, you found one last present. It was hidden behind the tree. Your children see their names on the present and are excited! The gift is from you to them. You have purposely saved it for last because it is the greatest gift they will ever receive from you. What is it? What could it possibly be? What would be the best present that you could ever give to your children? What gift could you give them that would have the longest-lasting impact on their lives? The answer: Being a good parent. My next few articles will address research-based “best practices” in parenting. Let’s begin by addressing

How to help your anxious child be more assertive

11.30.13

[Published by MomClick Utah and The Daily Herald here] The other day, I heard a grandfather talk about a phone call he received from his daughter. She told him how his elementary school grandson had been teased and bullied at his local church when he wore glasses for the first time. Frequently we hear nationwide news about bullying-related youth suicides. Quite often, many of my clients suffering from anxiety mention that at some time in their middle school or high school years they were bullied. Do kids who get bullied become anxious, or are anxious kids more likely to get bullied? The truth is, it can be both. Children who are bullied will experience trauma and thus will develop anxiety and may need professional help to overcome that neg

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