For decades, Garry Landreth, a renowned child psychologist, has shared his teachings in many settings throughout the world. One of his great contributions has been in the child-parent relationship area. He has used and taught universal principles to help parents strengthen their relationship with their children. He wrote The Child-Parent Relationship Therapy Training Manual and has trained thousands of therapists and parents. At Mindset Family Therapy we believe that when children struggle with anxiety, OCD or other challenges, parents can greatly benefit by the Child-Parent Relationship Training.
Garry Landreth has taught that a child is as complex as the Grand Canyon. Yes, children are complex and amazing and as parents provide a safe environment, they are able to help their children discover themselves.
Below are three of many principles you can put into practice after your CPR-Training:
“I’m here, I hear you, I understand, I care”
How often are parents really present with their children? How often could you say that you are 100% focused on your children? When you are with them physically, are you there mentally and emotionally as well?
All parents want their children to be happy and free of pain. Because of this, the tendency is for them to become “fixer uppers.” Parents often rush to help their children so they can feel less anxious, less timid, less angry, etc. Through Child-Parent Relationship Training, parents can learn that “being present” with their children is the most valuable gift they can give to them. Through the training, parents learn to see the difference between being and doing. Being with them is more valuable than doing things for them. Parents can practice being with their children in the now –physically, emotionally, and mentally. When parents do this, the message they send to their kids is, “I’m here, I hear you, I understand, I care.”
“Give your children credit for doing, and don’t do for your children what they can do for themselves.”
Parents’ whose children are struggling emotionally often feel unnecessary guilt. Sometimes they try to compensate by doing things for them. The truth is that children will feel more secure and confident when they know their parents trust them enough to do difficult things. Remember that children build their confidence with new experiences and hard work, even if they struggle with emotional challenges.
“If you focus on the problem, you lose sight of the child.”
Even though your child may struggle with anxiety, OCD or other issues, through CPR-T you can change the view of your child and “see the child for the person he’s capable of being.” As Garry Landreth has said, “Facts about your child do not tell very much about the person of the child.” He also has taught that “the child is more than his past or his struggles.” As you think about your child, what message is s/he getting? Hopefully your child is not getting this message: “My problem is more important than I am.”
Your child is more than anxiety, OCD, ADHD, etc. Your child is an amazing human being growing like a little seed. Garry Landreth reminds his audiences about this simple concept, yet, one that we often forget as parents. We all know that when we provide the right conditions, any seed will grow nicely. We cannot make a seed grow faster than it can grow biologically. Any plant or tree for that matter will require patience and the right amount of nourishment to grow and reach its potential. Likewise, when our children struggle, we need to provide the right conditions and nourishment. Sometimes we may be in a hurry to fix things or feel total despair. We can never give up on our precious children. We need to be patient and allow the roots to take and continue to provide the right conditions for them to reach their potential whatever that may be.
You don’t need to rush the process, isolate or enable your children. It takes consistent unconditional love and patience. You can start practicing the right skills through Child-Parent Relationship Training. This will give yourself and your child a great head start in life!
Garry Landreth – Child-Parent Relationship Therapy Training Presentations